Wheel of Chaos
by makoncrayley
Summary: Don't be fooled by the name, there's more than one wheel. What happens when the Sonic characters find three strange wheels that plunge them into the highest risk game of all time?
1. The game starts

**From the maker of the 3****rd**** greatest Sonic ToD fic, comes more suffering for the Sonic characters.**

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, any issue of Playboy magazine, beer, a wheel, or a car. I do own two PS3s and (Unfortunately) a Wii.**

* * *

We start with a view of a house. The house then gets up and turns into a robot. It starts to run into the distance.

"Wrong house, dumbass." Said a man behind the supposed camera, and sounded suspiciously like Red Forman. "Now get it right before I get my foot right up your ass."

And sure enough, the camera turned to another house. This one, however, didn't run away. We go inside, where we see many animals hitting a dangling fat man with a stick. That sounds more (BLEEP)ed up than it actually is.

"STOP IT!" Eggman said, before getting a gag put in his mouth.

"No, this is fun." Amy said as she pulled out the Piko-Piko Hammer.

"NOOO!" Said the gaged Eggman.

"Amy, don't." Sonic said. "You'll kill him."

"So?" Amy asked.

"If he's dead then Sega will fire us, then we'll have no job." Sonic said. "No speed for me, no grapes for Knuckles, no guns for Shadow, and no botox for you."

"NOT MY BOTOX!" Amy yelled. She put the hammer away and walked slowly away from Eggman.

Everyone sat down and looked at eachother.

"Now what?" Blaze said.

"You guys wanna get high?" Silver asked.

Everyone looked at him, before saying the only words that could be said in that situation... "Sure, why not?"

At that moment Smackdown appeared on tv with CM Punk talking about how he's better than everyone who takes drugs. It turned off the second he finished saying "Just say no."

"Random." Tails said. "So where's the stuff?"

"In the attic." Shadow said. "Cream, you get it."

"Why me Mr. Shadow?" Cream asked.

"Because you're the youngest." Shadow said. "Also get me a beer."

After that demonstration of great child care, Cream went to the attic.

"Should we do a circle like in that show about the 70's?" Sonic asked.

"You mean That 70's Show?" Shadow said.

"Yeah, what's that show called?" Sonic replied.

"That 70's Show." Shadow said.

"Yeah, what's it called?" Sonic asked.

"That 70's Show." Shadow replied.

"I know which one. What's the damn show called?" Sonic said.

"THAT 70'S SHOW!" Shadow yelled.

"I KNOW WHAT SHOW! WHAT'S IT CALLED?" Sonic yelled.

"THAT 70'S SHOW!" Shadow yelled.

"For (BLEEP)S SAKE! WHAT'S IT CALL...." Sonic yelled. He was about to finish when he heard Cream yelling. "What the hell?"

"GUYS! COME UP HERE!" Cream yelled from the attic.

"What's happening now?" Knuckles said.

Everyone got up and went to the attic. When they got there they saw Cream staring at three wheels.

"Cream, stop looking at those random wheels that weren't here before and find the stash." Shadow said.

Everyone stared at the wheels.

"What... what are they?" Sonic asked.

"They're scale models of the Empire State Building. What do you think they are? They're wheels you moron." Tails said in the longest sentence this chapter.

"Thanks for that Tails." Sonic said sarcastically.

At that moment a man fell through the roof. Everyone jumped back as he hit the ground, but didn't go to the next floor.

"Ow, damn it." The man said. "I missed the damn fall through board. Damn real floor hurts. Hey, where's my para..." He was about to finish when he was hit in the head by a parachute. "There it is."

"Hey, you look familiar." Cream said.

"Wait, Makon?" Sonic said.

"Yes." Makon said.

"Well since you're here, why don't you explain what those wheels are?" Sonic said.

"Those my friends, are the "Wheels of Chaos". They cause great... well, chaos." Makon said. "Who wants to play the biggest risk game ever?"

Everyone was silent.

"I take that as a yes." Makon said. "All you have to do is write your name and gender on this random piece of paper."

"How does this work?" Shadow asked.

"Two wheels will have people. One will have males, the other will have females." Makon explained. "The third wheel will have different challenges to do. We will roll a die. The number it comes up with, that's how many people will do it. So if it comes up as a 4, two males and two females will do it.

"What about if it comes out a 3 or 5?" Silver asked.

"If it comes out a 1, 3, or 5, then we will find a way to decide which gender has to do it." Makon said. "Let me demonstrate. Who's never gonna be used here? Oh, Bean."

"What?" Bean said.

"Write your name on the paper." Makon said.

"And what if I don't?" Beav asked.

"Then I'll have to kill you." Makon said. And one second later, Bean was writing his name and gender on the paper. "Now let's spin the third wheel."

As the wheel spun, everyone looked at Bean, who was shaking in his... shoes? As the wheel showed everyone looked at it. It finaly stoped.

"Change genders? What luck." Makon said.

"No. I won't do it." Bean said, but soon regreted doing so as he started to change. He grew boobs, and all those female parts.

"Oh, I forgot to mention. If you say you won't do it then you will have to be or do whatever the wheel says to do for the rest of your life." Makon said as everyone's jaws dropped.

"WHAT? I'LL BE A GIRL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?" The now female Bean yelled.

"Yes. Sucks to be you. And don't try suicide, cause if you do then you'll have to do it for all eternity." Makon said.

Bean started crying and ran away. Everyone went to a window as they watched him... or her, run down the street.

"Well, who wants to sign up first?" Makon asked.

Everyone turned and stared at Makon and a new piece of paper. They were ready to go when Silver walked up to Makon and signed the paper.

"WHAT THE HELL SILVER?" Shadow yelled.

"Didn't you see what happened to Bean?" Rouge asked.

"I saw and I don't care. I need more excitement in my life." Silver said.

"He's right there, he is really boring." Blaze said as she walked to Makon and signed.

"That man is the freaking devil." Knuckles and Tails said as the also went to sign.

Everyone started to sign the paper. The only one left to sign was Sonic.

"You gonna sign it Sonic?" Makon asked.

"I'm not stupid. You just want to torture us. You rip that paper up or I'll tell Kelvin that you're doing stuff like this again." Sonic said.

"Sign the paper or I'll tell everyone that you put on tube tops and mini skirts every Saturday night and go to night clubs as "Sonica". How about that?" Makon said with a smile on his face.

Sonic looked stunned. "How... I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" He yelled as he snatched the paper off Makon and signed it. "There, happy?"

"You do realize that you could have ripped it up then, and this wouldn't be happening?" Makon said with a smirk.

"WHAT?" Sonic yelled.

"Doesn't matter, it's all delt with." Makon said. "All of you come to my house tomorrow and we'll get this under way. All of you come or die."

He then turned around and jumped out a window, not realizing that they were on the second floor. "Can someone call an ambulance for me? I think I broke my neck." Makon said.

"I'll call the ambulance." Blaze said as she walked away.

"You think this will end well?" Shadow asked Sonic.

"Not by a long shot." Sonic replied.

And that was the story of how Sonic was finaly correct at predicting the future.

"Hey, I found the stash." Cream said.

Everyone then looked at Silver, just remembering that it was his idea to get high that caused this all to happen.

"Everyone, get your sticks out" Sonic said as he and everyone else walked closer to Silver.

"Wait, no. NOOOOO!" Silver said before getting beaten to death with sticks.

Back down stairs, Eggman was still dangling and gagged. Just then, a random gay person walked in.

"Happy birthday to me!" The gay person said as he pulled down his pants (The camera was above the waist, so it's still T rated) and adjusted Eggman's pants.

Thankfully, the camera ran out of film and we didn't see anything that would make this over T. Thank you god.

* * *

**What will happen? Who will go first? Will Lord Kelvin try to get this fic deleated like the ToD fic? Hell no to the last one cause this one is done "the right way". Appologies to any homosexuals. It was just to reference Eggman again and to cause him pain. :)**


	2. An eventfull morning

**I do not own Sonic, a tazer, an Xbox 360 (Thank god), SmackDown vs Raw 2010 (Yet), or any weapons. There is a little bit of swearing this chapter, but I say, and I cannot stress this enough, bloody and bastard are NOT swear words in Australia. I don't care about anywhere else. All I care about is the Australian swearing language.**

* * *

_**Sonic's House. Morning time:**_

Sonic slowly starts to wake up, he rolls over a little, but in doing so rolls off the bed and onto Tails, who was to high to go back to his house.

"Ow man." Tails said. "No need to crush me."

"Shut up Tails, it was an accident." Sonic said.

"So what will we do today?" Tails asked.

"Be put through hell with those three wheels from last night I guess." Sonic said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Tails said.

"You were probably to high to remember how you got here... or why you're wearing Amy's dress." Sonic said.

"No, I remember the dress thing." Tails said.

"How did it happen?" Sonic asked.

"I always wear a dress to bed." Tails said. "I mean... um... I must have been to high to find my shirt so I threw on the first thing I found."

"Tails, you don't wear a shirt." Sonic said. "No males do."

"Man, Sega must be really (BLEEP)ed up if they gave the females clothes, but not the males." Tails said as he threw the dress off.

"Let's go before we get killed." Sonic said as he picked himself and Tails up.

* * *

_**Shadow's house. One hour later:**_

Shadow is sleeping while cuddling one of his guns.

"Shadow." Rouge said.

"Oh, uh, what?" A groggy Shadow said.

"Get up, we need to go." Rouge said.

"I have a hangover from last night woman, where do we need to go?" Shadow asked.

"To Makon's place. Remember, the wheels." Rouge said.

"Oh crap." Shadow said. "I knew this wasn't gonna be good." He got up, stepping on some vomit. "Who vomited here?"

"You did." Rouge replied. "You wanna clean it up?"

"Leave it for now, let's just go."

"Alright Shadow. Don't you want a shower first? You smell like crap."

Shadow sniffed himself, instantly retching. "That would be a good idea."

Shadow ran to the shower as Rouge watched him. "We really need to throw an intervention for that guy."

* * *

_**The Hospital, around that time:**_

In a hospital, we see many sick people, injured people, and three guys with messy hair singing randomly.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh. From the hospital, we're honorary members of the red carpet academy." The one in the middle sang.

We then go to a room, where Silver is getting out of bead, covered in bandages.

"What happened last night?" Silver asked.

"Apparently everyone beat you with sticks for causing us to literally selling our sould to the devil, aka Makon." Blaze said.

"You got that right love." Makon said from the opposite side of the room.

"Why are you here?" Silver asked.

"I jumped out a second story window and broke my neck." Makon said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot because of that concussion you caused me to get." Silver said.

"You're the one who wanted to get high." Makon replied.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" Silver yelled.

"I know because I'm the OC of the writer." Makon said.

"Oh yeah. How's that working out?" Silver asked.

"It pays good." Makon said. He got up, wearing a suit unlike every other patient.

"Why are you wearing a suit? And why are you leaving?" Blaze asked.

"I always wear a suit. And I need to get home to start this game." Makon said. "Silver, when you get up, suit up."

At that moment, Neil Patrick Harris burst into the room, wearing a suit of course. "I am suing you for awesomeness infringement." Harris said.

"No time, gotta torture game characters." Makon said.

"Can I join?" Harris asked.

"Sure, why not." Makon said. "You can join by doing nothing but drinking beer and hitting on chicks."

"That's my favorite kind of joining." Harris said as he left.

"Right, well, see you guys later." Makon said as he left.

"You wanna get breakfast?" Silver asked Blaze.

"Sure, why not?" Blaze replied as they left.

* * *

_**Knuckle's place, 3 hours earlier... his clocks were set wrong:**_

Knuckles is hanging upside down for some reason. The doorbell rings and he wakes up and falls down.

"How did I get up there?" He said. "And where's the master emerald?"

At that moment an Asian man walks down the stairs.

"Hey, what are you doing in my house?" The man said.

"This is my house." Knuckles said.

"No, this is my house. See, I have pictures of my family." The man said.

"This is 76... something, something street." Knuckles said in stupidity.

"What? No it isn't." The man said. "Get out before I call police."

"I'm hungry. You want breakfast?" Knuckles said.

The man stared at Knuckles before speaking again. "Sure, you like waffles?"

"Hell yeah." Knuckles said.

"We're out of waffles." The man said. "You like led instead?"

"What?" Knuckles said.

The man pulls out a shotgun and points it at Knuckles. "This is going to be fun."

* * *

_**Amy's place, at whatever time it is. I've lost track:**_

Amy was sleeping, cuddling a Sonic plushie as if it was the real Sonic. Her entire room was covered in posters of Sonic, every Sonic game, and the most creepy feature, a shrine to Sonic, featuring a life sized Sonic doll. Cream walked in.

"Amy, wake up." The young rabbit said.

Amy stared to wake. "Oh, what time is it?" Amy asked.

"We need to..." Cream said as she looked around the room. "Holy crap, you really are messed up."

"Get on with it." Amy said.

"We need to go to Makon's for whatever we need to do."

"Great. Let me just pit my Sonic bra and p..." Amy started saying.

"**DON'T SAY IT!" **A voice said.

"Who said that?" Cream asked.

"**I DID! I AM JB! THE WRITER!" **I said.

"I thought Makon was the writer." Amy said. "Plus why don't I get to finish saying what I was saying?"

"**MAKON IS MY OC, I AM THE ACTUAL MIND!" **I said in awesomely bolded letters.

"Why are you in full caps?" Cream asked.

"**I'M JUST AWESOME LIKE THIS!" **I said.

"Wait, isn't this sort of thing in that "Sonic's Last Bet" fic?" Amy asked.

"**Um... OH, I THINK I LEFT THE OVEN ON! GOTTA GO!" **I said as I ran away.

"Right... anyway, let me get dressed first then we'll go." Amy said as Cream left.

* * *

**_Makon's place, 10:00am:_**

Everyone was walking down a long street, going to Makon's place to start.

"So, where does he live?" Sonic asked.

Tails pulled out a piece of paper, which Knuckles immediately snatched off him.

"It looks like some kind of treasure map." Knuckles said.

Tails snatched the paper back. "Don't do anymore Simpsons references today."

"Aw." Knuckles said.

"So where is it?" Silver said, before getting tape put over his mouth.

"You don't get to speak for getting us into this mess." Amy said.

"Muph mou." Silver said with the tape on his mouth.

"We're here I think." Tails said, looking at a... REGULAR HOUSE!

"He lives there? I thought he was evil. Evil people live in castles." Sonic said.

"That's a stereotype you bloody blue douchebag." Makon yelled from inside.

"Hey, screw you you Australian bastard." Sonic yelled.

"You want a piece of me?" Makon yelled.

"You know I do." Sonic yelled.

"We're really running this thing long so let's just get on with it." Makon yelled.

"Alright." Sonic yelled.

Everyone walked up to the house and went in, although Knuckles just stood in the doorway.

"Knuckles, come on." Rouge said.

"No way. I was forced to do some pretty scaring stuff in the last house I was in." Knuckles said.

"Stop being a baby." Rouge said as she grabbed Knuckles and pulled him inside.

Inside the house there was empty space with nothing but the three wheels and Makon.

"You don't own anything else?" Sonic asked.

"I own a lot more stuff. I put it all in another room." Makon said.

"Right..." Sonic said.

"Let's get this started, shall we?" Makon said.

At this point a giant die, which looks very similar to the one from Devil May Cry 4, dropped from the sky, nearly hitting Cream in the process.

"Nearly? God damn it." Makon said.

"**I say who lives and who dies." **I said.

"Who the (BLEEP) are you, God?" Silver asked.

"**You'd think so but no."** I said.

"Can we continue?" Makon asked.

"**Sure."** I said.

"Great. Now let the die roll." Makon said.

The die started rolling. Everyone watched intently. It continued rolling.

_**One hour later:**_

The die was still rolling. Everyone walked back in drinking some Starbucks coffee. The die finally stopped rolling.

"And it landed on..." Makon said, going up in a cherry picker that was randomly in the room. "4."

"So two males and two females?" Tails asked.

"Yep." Makon said as he got off the cherry picker. He walked over to the wheels. "Now let's see who's gonna be playing first." He spun the wheels.

"Will this take another hour?" Sonic asked.

"No, it only takes a short while." Makon said.

"When will it stop then?" Amy asked.

Makon looked at his watch. "At the start of the next chapter."

With that, everyone gave one big, and perfectly synchronized, sigh.

* * *

**I use a real die to decide the number. So it's totally random. I'll find a way to chose the characters. The challenges are the hard part though. So yeah.**


	3. Body swap 101

**Time for the game to really begin.**

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, or weapons of mass destruction. Yes, I don't own those.**

* * *

In the age of the dinosaurs, monsters roamed the earth. They died out and man came. Man evolved and built bigger and better things. In the early 1990's, man took a major step forward when they made Sonic the Hedgehog. A few years later, they took a major step back when they turned 3D. Our story has nothing to do with that. It's about three wheels that will cause them pain.

"Great intro." Sonic said.

"**Sarcasm rally doesn't work when you're writing." **I said.

"Whatever." Sonic said. "Have the wheels stopped spinning yet?"

"Um..." Makon said, looking at the wheels. "Yep."

"So, who's doing first?" Cream said.

"First two are..." Makon said, building anticipati...

"GET ON WITH IT!" Everyone yelled.

"Shadow and Cream." Makon said.

"Great." Shadow said sarcastically.

Makon spun the two wheels again. "Now for the sec... oh, it's already stopped spinning."

"So we waisted a few lines for the first one to stop, but the second one took a few seconds?" Sonic said. "THIS IS BULL(BLEEP)!"

Makon looked at the wheels. "You're lucky karma's on your side right now. You aren't going. The next two are Amy and Eggman."

"Wait, Eggman?" Tails aked. "He was tied up when we signed the paper. How is he doing this?"

"Funny thing." Makon said. "After he escaped and got home... I beat him with a sack of oranges until he signed the paper."

"Sack of oranges. How come I never thought of that?" Sonic asked.

"Because you're a retard." Knuckles said.

"Where's the Master Emerald then?" Sonic asked.

"I'm playing hide and seek with it... and it's winning." Knuckles said.

"Right..." Sonic said.

"So what do we do Mr Crayley?" Cream asked.

"Good que..." Makon said.

At that moment Eggman fell through the roof, crashing into a TV.

"MY TV! And my roof, but my TV. NOOOOOOOOO!" Makon said, sounding exactly like Darth Vader in Revenge of the Sith.

"I need a doctor." Eggman said As he struggled to get up.

"You don't get a doctor." Makon said. "Now I'll spin the wheel."

And of course, he spins it. After a minute it finally stops.

"Body swap?" Shadow, Eggman, Cream, and Amy all asked at the same time.

"What a way to start." Makon said. "This is what will happen. You four will swap bodies for a day. Do what you want in the bodies."

"This will kill my reputation." Shadow said. "I don't want Amy stalking Sonic in my body."

"Good news for you, you'll be swapping bodies with Cream." Makon said.

"THAT'S WORSE!" Shadow yelled.

"How is it worse than a stalker using your body?" Makon asked.

"You don't know what girly things she will do." Shadow said.

Makon was then suddenly wearing black. "We're here today to mourn the death of Shadow's reputation."

"Oh shut up." Shadow said.

"Hold on a minute." Sonic said. "So Amy will be in Eggman's body?"

"Yep." Makon said.

"I'm going on holiday. See ya." Sonic said before running to the door. However, he didn't leave as he instead bounced back.

"Oh, I forgot to mention. The rest of you have to stay here untill they finish at the end of the day." Makon said.

"WHAT?" Everyone yelled.

"Yeah, sorry for not clearing that up first." Makon said.

"So how do we swap bodies anyway?" Shadow asked.

"With a random mind swap device used in many shows about spies and all that jazz." Makon said.

"If it makes no sence on TV, it makes sence on a Sonic fic." Blaze said.

"Mou med mt." Silver, who still had tape on his mouth, said.

"Oh for christ's sake." Makon said before ripping the tape off.

After a scene involving the longest use of the F word ever, many priests commiting suicide, and the pope exploding, we go to the basement. There, we see a random mind swap machine was.

"Well, here we are." Makon said.

"Who knew you had one of these?" Eggman said.

"Who knew he had a basement?" Sonic said.

"Who knew Silver had such a colourful vocabulary?" Blaze said.

"You would have said that to if you had tape ripped off your mouth." Silver said.

"No, I would burn them to death." Blaze said.

"Wow, you really are a pyromaniac." Knuckles said, before being set on fire. "AH, BURNY, BURNY!"

"WHO'S PYRO NOW?" Blaze yelled.

"Still you. Ya crazy bitch." Makon said under his breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Blaze yelled.

"Nothing, nothing." Makon said. "Now then, Shadow, Cream, step into the separate pods."

"Oh no, we were going to go into the same pod." Shadow said.

"You wanna be smart with me? I can make you do stuff that would make Pee Wee Herman turn emo." Makon said.

Shadow did the zipping lip gesture, and walked into the left pod. Cream did the same with the right pod.

"Alright, now I'll press this one button and the mind swap will begin." Makon said.

"Hold it right there." A mysterious voice said in an obnoxious way.

"Oh no. It can't be.." Makon said. "Douchy McNitpick?"

"That's right." Douchy said. "A mind swap device is more complex than just pressing one button."

"Sure, in reality or in the movies. But this is a fic." Makon said.

"Who cares? It makes no sence and I'm gonna sue you if you advance." Douchy said.

"Couldn't we get sued for using you anyway?" Makon asked.

"Hm, that's actually a very good point." Douchy said.

"Ha. You're not being a douche anymore. And you agreed with me." Makon said.

"What? NOOOO!" Douchy said, before turning to stone and exploding.

"Right..." Makon said.

Makon quickly pressed the button and the machine started. A voice came from the machine, saying "This mind swap will take a few minutes to complete, please enjoy the music while you wait."

The music started playing Karma Chameleon.

"I love this song." Makon said. One second later Makon was dressed like Boy George in the video for the song. "Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon. You come and go, you come and go-ooo. Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream. Red, gold, and green. Red, gold, and green."

As Makon finished singing, the pods opened.

"Why does everything look bigger?" Cream said.

Shadow looked at cream.

"Why am I looking at myself?" Shadow asked.

"Great Scott, it worked." Makon said.

"What worked?" Cream said. She looked at Shadow. "Oh shit. CHANGE US BACK. I BEG YOU!"

"No." Makon said. "You have to stay like that for the rest of the day."

"I'm gonna have so much fun." Shadow... or Cream... Let's go with cream from now, said.

"I wanna kill myself." Shadow said.

"If you even try I'll do extremely girly things." Cream said.

"You wouldn't dare." Shadow said.

"Oh really?" Cream said. She walked over to a bag she had brought, reached in, and pulld out a make-up kit and some of her mother's clothes.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Shadow yelled.

Cream opened the make-up kit and pulled out some lipstick. She took the lid off.

"Alright, fine. I won't try to kill myself." Shadow said.

"Great." Cream said as she put the stuff back into the bag.

While that fiasco was going on, Amy and Eggman had just finished being swapped.

"Why do I feel fatter?" Amy asked.

"You're less fat you moron." Eggman, who had Amy speaking for him, said.

"No, Eggman's right. He is fatter. HAHAHA!" Sonic said, soon regretting it.

"Oh Sonic." Amy said as she walked closer to him in Eggman's huge body.

"God damn it." Sonic said, trying to run before getting glomped by the extremely fat man with a female stalker's mind.

"I LOVE YOU!" Amy said before getting tazered.

"THANK YOU!" Sonic yelled, before hugging Makon.

"Um..." Makon said before using the tazer on Sonic. "God I love this thing."

"So now what?" Shadow said.

"Oh, uh, do what you want. This is already the longest chapter so far so I don't really care what you do. "Makon said.

* * *

_**Cream:**_

We see Cream, in Shadow's body, walking through a mall.

"How can I make this chapter funnier for everyone, and torturous for Mr Shadow?" She thought.

As she was walking, she noticed a sale at some clothes store. "I couldn't do that... or could I?" She thought. She pulled out Shadow's wallet and checked how much money he had. Apparently he had filled it with a hell of a lot of $100 notes. "I neve knew Mr Shadow had a job."

She noticed a note in the wallet, saying "The next shipment comes in at midnight on the 30th of October."

"Well, if this is what causes him pain." She said, as she ran into the store.

* * *

_**Shadow:**_

Shadow, in Cream's body, walked down the street. As he walked he kept pulling at the Cream's dress. "How the hell do women wear these without worrying about their asses showing?" He thoght.

He continued walking. He eventually walked past a tattoo parlour.

"I'm sure that little girl is doing something girly right now, so I'll make her pay for it." He thought as he walked in.

Shadow walked up to a hevily muscled man with seveal tattoos. "I want a tattoo." He said.

"Sorry little girl, I'm not aloud to give children tattoos." The man said.

"I'm not a child." Shadow said.

"Can I see an ID then?" The man said.

Shadow then pulled out Vanilla's ID.

"Alright Vanilla. What do you want?" The man asked.

"Hm..." Shadow said.

* * *

_**Eggman:**_

Eggman, in Amy's body, is inside a McDonalds.

"Call me fat will she?" He mumbled. "I'll show her fat. MORE BURGERS!"

"Miss, this is your 75th order. You've had 5 heart attacks. Are you sure you don't want to stop eating?" An employee asked.

"NO! MORE BURGERS!" Eggman yelled.

The employee turned to his boss. "She is now officially our favorite customer."

"You got that right son. We're rich. Rich. RICH!" His boss, and apparent father, said.

While Eggman scoffed down burgers, he was on eBay, selling all of Amy's Sonic related stuff. He had made 7 million dollars within one hour.

"This will be my greatest plan ever." He thought to himself. "I'll make Amy so fat that she has to move into the forest. Then I'll finally take over the world while Sonics partying. Genius. Gah."

After that heart attack, he continued eating and eBaying.

* * *

_**Amy:**_

Amy, inside Eggman's body, is in a gym.

"I'm doing something nice for that moron. I'll have him lose weight." She said to herself.

Amy put on some Sonic sweat bands and went to a treadmill. Half an hour and 9 heart attacks later, Amy had a break. One of the workers walked over to her.

"Are you alright sir?" The worker asked. "You had 9 heart attacks, do you want me to call an ambulance?"

"I'll be right." Amy said.

"Alright sir." The worker said as he walked away.

"Right, back to work." Amy said as she walked over to one of those bike thingos.

* * *

_**Back at Makon's place:**_

Everyone remaining is sitting in a circle with smoke in the room.

"Dude, this stuff is awesome." Silver said.

"Thanks. I got it from some guy. I don't know what his name was, but I knew that he was a guy man." Makon said.

"I bet I could fit my whole left foot in my mouth." Knuckles said.

"Go for it man." Tails said.

"Yeah, I want to see that." Sonic said.

"Don't do it. It's stupid." Rouge said. "Use the right foot."

"Ow, my toe poked my eye." Knuckles said. "Let's try this again."

"Cause if you poke yourself in the eye the first time, you're definitely gonna get it the second time." Silver said.

"Silver man, don't move." Makon said.

"Why?" Silver said.

"There's a leprachan on your head." Makon said.

"Quick, get it and beat it up for it's pot of gold." Silver said, before getting knocked down.

"Damn it. Poked my other eye." Knuckles said. "Best of 5 then."

"Knuckles, why don't you try, like, just stopping?" Sonic asked.

"Because that's what my foot wants me to do." Knuckles said.

"Oh, well that makes sence." Sonic said.

"You guys are stupid." Rouge said. "Makon's attacking Silver for a leprachan, Knuckles is poking his eyes out with his foot, and Tails is making out with Blaze."

"He's a good kisser." Blaze said.

"Chicks dig the two tails." Tails said.

At that moment Eggman walked in. Everyone took one look at Amy's body and began laughing.

"Eggman, you're so dead when Amy gets back." Makon said.

"I got a no violence order against her so she can't kill me for making her overweight or for selling all her Sonic stuff." Eggman said.

"Yeah. No order is going to stop her from killing you." Sonic said. "Even restraining orders fail."

"Oh god, you're right." Eggman said. "SAVE ME GOD!"

"**I'm on my break."** I said.

"Some help you are." Eggman said.

"**See you in hell, Eggman." **I said.

Shadow then walked in while smoking.

"HOLY CRAP!" Rouge said. "You got Cream a tattoo? AND YOU'RE SMOKING?"

"Yes." Shadow said uncaringly.

"How did you even do it?" Makon asked.

"There's a lot a guy can do in the body of a 7 yr old rabbit girl when you steal their mother's ID." Shadow said.

"But stealing is a sin." Rouge said.

"**Not when I'm god."** I said.

"Shadow, karma's gonna bite you in the ass." Makon said.

"Karma? Ha. Karma doesn't exist." Shadow said.

At that moment, Cream walked in, wearing make-up, a puffy pink dress, stockings, and those shoes girls wear while doing ballet. Everyone else were trying not to laugh, but they failed at that.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone burst out.

"YOU'RE MAKING ME WEAR MAKE-UP, GIRLS SHOES, AND A DRESS?" Shadow yelled.

"The dress isn't the only girly clothing you're wearing." Cream said cheekily.

"TAKE IT OFF RIGHT NOW!" Shadow yelled.

"I can take the make-up off, but not the dress." Cream said.

"And how come?" Shadow asked.

"I broke the zip. This dress isn't coming off in a while." Cream said.

Shadow looked shocked. Everyone else looked as if they were about to die laughing.

"Someone please make this laughter stop. I can't handle it anymore." Makon said.

Makon's wish came as the door opened and a thin man with an egg shaped head came in.

"By god." Makon said.

"PHILIP! I'M HERE FOR YOU!" The egg headed man, apparently Terrance, said.

"You're looking for the South Park fics. Just go to the end of the street and to the left." Makon said.

"Oh, right'o. Thank you." Terrance said as he left.

At that moment, another thin, egg headed man walked in.

"Dow the street, to the left. That's where the South Park fics are." Makon said.

"I'm Amy you moron." Amy said.

"Whatever?" Makon said.

"So where's Eggman..." Amy said. She looked around the room, eventually seeing the fat lump of fur that used to be her body. "OH MY GOD!"

"HAHAHA!" Eggman laughed.

"Sucks to be you Eggman, case I have scissors." Amy said.

"WHAT?" Eggman said.

Amy went to make Eggman female, when she was stopped. "What the (BLEEP)?"

"**NO SELF SEX CHANGES!" **I said in my awesome godly way.

"Stop kissing your own ass already." Shadow said.

"**Stop being in the body of a little female rabbit who's mother is a prostitute." **I said.

"DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOTHER A PROSTITUTE?" Cream yelled.

"**Oh, uh... look at the time. Gotta go." **I said as I ran away.

"Coward." Cream said.

"I'M... GOING... TO... KILL... YOU... ALL..." Amy said.

Amy suddenly fell to the ground.

"What the?" Sonic said. At that moment he noticed Makon wearing huter gear. "Oh."

"I used enough tranqulizers to take Charmy down... for three years." Makon said.

Makon dragged the unconcious body of Eggman into a pod as Amy's body went into the otherpod. Makon went to the controls when a thought occurred.

"Wouldn't this kill them?" Makon said. "I mean with Eggman's body tranquilized, and Amy's mind tranquilized, this would kill both of them."

"**Fine, I'll undo the tranquility." **I said, walking back in.

At that moment, Amy jumped up. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Before she could get out, the pod closed and the machine started.

A minute later, the walked out.

"I look like a super..." Eggman said, before getting a tube stuck in his mouth. The other end was stuck in Amy's body.

"You want fat? YOU CAN KEEP IT THEN!" She yelled.

"She's crazy." Tails said.

"Agreed." Everyone else... well, agreed.

Cream and Shadow walked into the pods. Once again, once the machine finished they walked out. Once out, Shadow instantly began ripping at the dress.

"GET OFF DAMN IT!" Shadow yelled.

"I think you look cute." Rouge said.

"Shut up." Shadow said, now blushing. "YOU BASTARD! YOU JUST OOC'D ME!"

"**COME GET ME, LOSER!" **I said.

"How do I get this dress off?" Shadow asked.

"It'll only come off when you get kissed by prince charming." Cream said.

"I'M SICK OF THESE GAMES!" Shadow yelled.

"I'm not playing. One of the guys have to kiss you to get it off." Cream said. "Read the instructions."

"What kind of dress has instructions?" Makon asked.

"The kind that makes men look gay I guess." Silver replied.

"Right..." Makon said.

"Alright, who gets the honor of kissing me to help me." Shadow said.

At that moment, all the guys except Sonic stepped back. Sonic looks back at them. "Oh (BLEEP) all of you. Sigh, fine."

Sonic stepped closer to Shadow. They looked eachother in the eyes. Their faces turned red. They leaned in and kissed. The dress fell off but they kept kissing. Sonic put his arms around Shadow. His peni...

"**GET OUT OF HERE!"** I yelled as a girl ran away. **"Damn yaoi fan girls."**

Alright, this is what really happened. Sonic ran over, kissed Shadow, then instantly started to vomit as the dress fell off. After a minute of shock, Shadow started to vomit as well.

"This fic has suddenly turned into a vomitron." Makon said. "Alright, you guys go home. Return here tomorrow for more pain... I mea, fun."

Everyone looked at eachother, then left. The only ones left in the house were Makon, Sonic, and Shadow.

"I'll get a mop." Makon said as he walked off.

* * *

_**LATER:**_

Amy is at home. She walks through the hallway.

"It's good to be , nothing changed here while I was in Eggman's body." She said.

She walked into her bedroom with her eyes closed.

"Now to open my eyes to see that everything is the same." She said.

She opened her eyes and... everything was still where it was at the beginning of the day

"Ah." Amy said. As she said that the room started to shake. "Is there an earthquake?"

At that moment millions of people ran into her room and took all her Sonic stuff which, incidentally, was everything she owned. They even took the clothes she was... I'll stop there. I don't wanna give you nightmares.

"0.o" She did. She followed this by the longest use of the F word in the history of the world.

At Makon's place, Makon heard this.

"Wow." He said. "Can you two please get out of here?"

"To... pain... vomiting..." Sonic said.

"Can't... home... moment..." Shadow said.

Both men passed out as Makon looked on.

"Morons." He said. "I have an idea..."

And with that, this chapter that has taken up 13 pages on word finishes.

* * *

**Next chapter, more pain, pie, and gayness. Stay tuned for more. Same Makon time, same Makon fic.**


	4. Lots of crossdressing references

**Time for more of this game.**

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, or the word that rhymes with orange.**

* * *

It's morning in... insertnamehere land, which is exactly 1500km away from Whogivesashit land. We go to a decently sized house. Inside, two lovers sleep in each others arms... screw it, it's Sonic and Shadow. As the morning sun shines on them, Shadow moves over a bit and kisses Sonic. Could it get anymore Yaoi without it being Yaoi?

"Morning sweety." Shadow said. He opened his eyes, looked at Sonic, then closed them again. His eyes then shot open. "OH MY GOD!" He yelled as he pushed Sonic away.

"Wha... what happened?" Sonic asked. "Oh no, did we?"

"No you didn't. But I got some things." Makon said while dressed like a director behind a video camera.

"What did you get?" Shadow asked.

"I got some footage of you guys sleep-kissing, sleep-spooning, sleep-break dancing, and a very strange moment when Shadow was dressed like a clown and Sonic was dressed like Sailor Moon. You guys sang the Journey song "Don't Stop Believing". It was creepy." Makon said.

"Why was I dressed like Sailor Moon?" Sonic asked.

"No time for explanation, it's time for torture." Makon said.

"It's only 9" Shadow said.

"No, it's daylight savings time." Makon said. "Sonic, you're fast. Get everyone."

"Even Amy?" Sonic asked.

"Yes." Makon said.

"But she lost all her stuff. She would kill and stuff me." Sonic said.

"Well she's already started with everyone else..." Makon said.

Meanwhile at Amy's place, we see most of the other male characters painted blye, looking like Sonic, in different costumes. Knuckles is dresses like a sailor, Tails as a pimp, Espio as, ironically, a ninja, and Charmy as a pirate.

We then see Amy dipping a paintbrush in blue paint, while Silver is gagged and tied up. "You're gonna be Princess Sonic." The crazy pink hedgehog said.

Silver started to scream muffled words.

"It'll be over soon." Amy said. She turned around to see Silver missing. "Huh? Well at least I have the others." She said, but they were gone as well. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Back at Makon's place, everyone is having a shower. "UNCLEAN!" They all said.

"That hedgehog is crazy." Makon said.

"Imagine try to live with her while your mother's in Vegas." Cream said.

"I'd rather not." Makon said.

At this point, Amy bursts through the door. "WHERE ARE THEY!" She said, literally frothing from the mouth.

"Did you get bit by a dog with rabies?" Makon asked.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled, covering a bite mark.

"Right..." Makon said.

"Where are my Sonic plushies." Amy asked.

"With millions of fans..." Makon said.

"NO!" Amy yelled. "My new plushies."

"LOOK! IT'S A SONIC PLUSHIE!" Makon yelled.

"WHERE?" Amy yelled, turning around only to get knocked out.

"There's your plushie." Makon said in a horribly done Austrian accent.

"Great line." Silver sarcastically.

"I made you and I can destroy you." Makon said.

"You didn't make me. Some guy who was huffing paint made me. Wow, no wonder I'm slow." Silver said.

Makon just looked at silver before changing the subject. "Now time to continue."

At this moment, Eggman ran in. He literally had a sea of sweat behind him. "Sorry I'm late." He walked inside as a captain and his crew were fighting a white whale in the sea of sweat.

"Right... well time to spin." Makon said as he started spun the wheel. "And it lands on... 1."

"One?" Sonic asked. "So which gender does it?"

"Good question." Makon said. "We'll have a race. One male and one female race."

"And the winner does it?" Knuckles asked.

"Yes. And the loser has to do whatever the wheel says." Makon said, making what I believe is the first sex joke in this fic. "Who are the two slowest people here?"

"Silver and that transexual snail." Tails said.

"Transsexual snail?" Makon said. "No, that can't be true."

"Why not?" Tails asked.

"If there was a transsexual snail, then we would have an original character." Makon said.

"Oh, true." Tails said. "Well Cream then."

"Then it will be Silver vs Cream." Makon said.

"Wait." Rouge said. "Shouldn't we spin the wheel to see who races?"

"Already did that." Makon said. "And ironically Silver and Cream came up."

"Oh." Rouge said.

We go to a racetrack where we see Silver and Cream next to eachother, ready to race.

"You two ready?" Makon asked.

"You bet." Silver said.

"Um... not really." Cream said.

"And... go." Makon said as he shot a gun.

Meanwhile, across the road, a robber is robbing a bank. He runs out with several bags of money. "I can finally pay off my blind and death sister's college payment, and give a million dollars towards finding a cure to cancer." As he finished saying this, the bullet hit him in the head, and he died. People crowd around him and start to kick him.

"**Dark. Truly dark." **I said.

"Who cares? He was robbing a bank for... good reasons." One of the people said. "I hope he burns in hell for that."

"**No, he's here." **I said.

"Damn it." The person said.

Back on the track, the race is underway. Silver actually has the lead. Cream runs slower then has an idea. "Hey Mr Silver, look at this." She said, and in what could be one of Michael Jackson's wet dreams, she takes her dress off.

For those still reading after that part, Silver looks back and trips. Cream then skips past. "Good luck with the wheel thing Mr Silver." She said that while she put her dress back on.

"BY GOD SILVER! SHE'S A KID!" Sonic yelled.

"WHO CARES?" A mysterious bush said. For some strange reason this bush looked like Pedobear.

"Dude, is that Pedobear?" Makon asked.

"I'm not Pedobear, I'm just a bush." The bush said.

"Since when did bushes talk?" Rouge asked.

"Since..." The bush said. Pedobear then ran away.

"Right... well Cream won. Back to the house." Makon said. "I'll meet you all there, I need to find a garbage bin to throw up in."

Back at the house, Makon walked in while everyone was waiting. "Right, so let's see what Silver has to do." He then span the wheel.

"I hope it's easy." Silver said.

"And it lands on... Pre-school teacher?" Makon said.

"YES!" Silver yelled.

"Alright then." Makon said.

* * *

We then go to a pre-school. We see Silver writing on a board. "Morning kids, I'm Mr Silver. Any questions so far?

"Are you a girl?" One kid said.

"No." Silver said.

"Oh. So you're a cross-dresser?" The kid asked.

"I'm not wearing womens clothing." Silver said.

"Well you look like a girl." The kid said.

"I do not." Silver said. "Any other questions?"

Many hands went up.

"Any questions not relating to my gender?" Silver asked. Everyone put their hands down. "Grrrrreat."

At this moment a tiger burst through the wall. "YOOOOOOU'RE SUED!" The tiger said. He then jumped through a window.

"Why didn't he just go through the wall he just broke?" Silver asked.

"Can we have candy?" One kid asked.

"No." Silver said.

"We want candy." Some of the kids said.

"Like I said..." Silver said.

"WE WANT CANDY!" All the kids said.

"I said no." Silver said.

"Attention, this is the principal... why a pre-school needs a principal is beyond me but at least this keeps food on the table." The Principal said on an speaker system.

"What the?" Silver said.

"The only class here are going on a trip to the "Sugar, candy, and crazy shit that's banned in most parts on the world factory" for the rest of the day. Yeah." The principal said.

"WHAT?" Silver said as the kids started cheering. He looked around and noticed a booth with a sign that said "The principal definitely isn't in here. No sir. No principals in here." Silver walked over to it and saw a shadow of a man.

"Don't pay attention to the incredibly awesome, and good looking man behind the curtain." The principal said.

Silver opened the curtain and saw Makon. "God damn it. I was hoping nothing would be there."

"That would have been a better joke, but who cares?" Makon said. "Now get the kids on the bus."

"Fine." Silver said. "But if I'm going down then you're going down with me."

"And how are you going to get me to go with you... what is that?" Makon asked as he looked at a tape Silver was holding.

"Oh nothing. Just a video of you wearing a prom dress and singing "Barbie Girl" into a hair brush." Silver said.

"What's with all the cross-dressing references this chapter?" Makon asked.

"I have no idea. Let's end it before things start to get weird." Silver said.

"Good idea." Makon said. "So let's go."

One hour later at the factory, all hell has broken loose. The kids are hyper. We see Silver tied up with some of the girls giving him a makeover.

"I thought we agreed on no more cross-dressing references." Silver said.

He looked at Makon, who was tied up and gagged while dangling from the roof and kids hitting him with sticks.

"Now I know how Eggman felt." Makon thought.

"Um, Makon. Can we get out now? They're getting the hair straighteners, ribbons, and perfume." Silver said. "Where are they getting that stuff from anyway?"

We then see Amy selling the kids girly stuff. "Remember to make the silver guy really pretty. And keep on hitting the dangling Australian guy."

"Note to self, kill Amy." Makon thought.

"You wanna kill Amy to?" Silver thought to Makon.

"Yeah... are we telepathically talking to each other?" Makon asked.

"Yeah." Silver thought.

"Wait, you have psychic powers. Why don't you use them?" Makon thought.

"Oh yeah." Silver thought. He then started to use his powers.

A few minutes later, the whole building was on fire. I won't say how, but let's just say that sheep and Mexican food don't mix.

We see Makon and Silver running away. They turn around and look at the disaster.

"So..." Silver said. "We're done?"

"Um..." Makon said. "Yeah. If the police ask, the kids came at us with swords."

"The kids did come at us with swords." Silver said.

"I'm gonna kill Amy." Makon said.

"Not before I kill her first." Silver said.

They continued to walk.

* * *

We then go to Makon's place.

"New rule. Amy doesn't come anywhere near the actual challenge unless she's doing it." Makon said.

"I don't see why we need to confine her Hannibal Lecter style." Rouge said as she looked at Amy who looked just like Hannibal.

"You don't know what horrors she caused us." Silver said.

"Right. So what happened while we were gone?" Makon said.

"Well Cream was arrested for underage nudity. And Eggman won the Nobel Prize." Tails said.

"Nice." Makon said.

"But he lost it to me when he tried to turn it into a robot." Tails said.

"Right." Makon said. "Well you can all go home now. Keep Amy here. Me and Silver have to do something."

Everyone but Silver left. When the door closed Makon and Silver pulled bats out.

"Ever heard the saying "Payback is a bitch"?" Silver asked. "Looks like it's true."

We then go to the outside where we only see the silhouettes of the two hitting Amy with the bats. What a good ending.

* * *

**Tune in next time when Eggman rules the world and Satan buys some ice skates. All next time on... wait, what? So that's not happening? Oh. Um... Tune in next time when we have no idea what will happen.**


	5. Law and Disorder without L&O references

**For those who payed attention, I did make some mistakes in the last chapter, including saying that a wheel picks how many do it. I wrote a lot of the chapter last night so I was tired. I'll try not to make more mistakes. I was also supposed to have Not make a cameo in the last chapter, but that's what this chapter will have.**

**I do not own Sega, Sonic, or a shot gun. If I did then I would be ruling the world right now.**

* * *

At the Mississippi River, we see a lot of people dressed in old time clothes. We then see a stange man singing.

"Desert loving in your eyes all the way. If I listen to our lies you would say..." He sang, before getting pushed into the river by Makon.

"THIS IS MY SHOW BABY!" Makon yelled. "I'm a man, without conviction."

He walked over to a boat, stealing several things at the same time, including some earings, some necklaces, and a 1989 Ford Mustang. He gets on the boat, and instantly goes to the poker table.

"The game is strip poker... I mean regular poker. Yeah, regular." The dealer said.

The match starts. An hour, and a lot of naked people, later, Makon has a hell of a lot of chips with him. "Well, gotta go." He got up.

The women then notice that they haven't got their stuff. "HEY! My earings are missing." One woman said.

"My necklace is missing." Another said.

The third woman was pressing a button on a thing. "My Mustang is gone." She said.

"The guy in black must have taken it." Someone said.

"Oh sure, just because I wear black, means I stole stuff." Makon said.

"He admited it." The same guy said.

"Screw this time." Makon said.

At this point, everyone pull out guns.

"Oh, uh... Gotta go." Makon said, before disappearing in a flash of blue light.

"Well damn it. He must be one of those magical faries I've read about." A man said.

"A person who can read?" Another man said.

Everyone then shot the man who could read.

* * *

Back in present time, Makon returns to his house, where everyone else is.

"Where were you?" Sonic asked.

"Nowhere special. Oh, by the way I'm rich now. Shadow, have a mustang." Makon said as he threw the keys, which he somehow got from the woman, at Shadow.

"Sweet." Shadow said.

"Now then, time to roll the die to discover the number of casualties... I mean contestants." Makon said as the die fell again.

"Where was the die yesterday?" Rouge asked.

"They had to use it for another Die Hard movie, "Die Hard 5: Viva Last Vegas" Makon said.

"Oh." Rouge said.

The die started to roll. Once ot finaly stopped Makon climbed a ladder.

"Number 6." Makon said.

"6?" Tails asked.

"6." Makon said.

"Ok." Tails said.

"Time to spin the wheel and make a deal." Makon said. He then spun both wheels.

"So 6 people will do it?" Knuckles asked.

"For the love of god, yes." Makon said.

The wheels stopped.

"And we have Blaze and Charmy." Makon said.

"Wait, what?" Sonic said.

At this point, the annoying bee breaks out of a closet.

"Why ya lock me in?" Charmy asked.

"You annoy people." Makon said. "Now then..." With that said he span the wheels again. "Next two are Storm and... oh god, Amy."

"When did Storm sign up?" Tails asked.

"A few minutes after Eggman, along with Chaotix, the Rouges, and Big." Makon said.

"Ok." Tails said

"And the final two are Rouge and... Tails? What irony." Makon said. "Now time for the challenge." He spins the wheel.

"After I was nearly killed by kids yesterday, I pray that these guys get something easier." Silver said.

"For the last time, I didn't know Amy was at that factory." Makon said.

"If it wasn't for your desire to cause us pain, yesterday would have been a much more boring, and safer, day." Silver said.

"Oh cry me a river." Makon said. "Well thewheel stopped, this time it is... cops and robbers? Who the hell comes up with these challenges anyway?"

"**You do technically." **I said.

"Damn it." Makon said.

"So we just play that?" Storm asked.

"How the hell should I know? And no, it's real." Makon said. He then kicks the 6 out of the house.

* * *

About an hour later, we see a bank explode. We then see a car drive off. Inside the car are Charmy, Storm, and Amy.

"**Did you really have to blow up the bank?"** I asked.

"Yes." Amy said. "Those (BLEEP)ers can go to hell."

"**Yeah... about that..."** I said.

"**HOW DARE YOU SAY BURN IN HELL!" **A voice said.

"And who are you?" Amy asked.

"**I'm the pope you (BLEEP)ing bitch."** Benedict said.

"Correction, you were the pope." Amy said.

"**Shut up."** Benedict said. **"And which of you stole my hat?"**

"I DID!" Charmy yelled.

"**Someone kill him so I can get my hat back."** Benedict said.

"I'll do it." Makon, who was apparently driving the car, said. "Get over here you son of a bitch."

"DON'T CALL MY MOM A BITCH!" Charmy yelled.

"She's a queen bee. And as all shows with queen bees show, all queen bees are bitches." Makon said.

At this point, a cop car shows up behind them. Inside are Tails and Blaze.

"WHERE'S ROUGE?" Makon yelled.

"WELL..." Tails yelled.

* * *

We then go to a jewellery store where Rouge, dressed like a cop, is taking the jewels "back to the station for testing of any illegal substances".

"Just throw all of these into your Porche?" The owner asked.

"Yes." Rouge said.

"Why are you using a Porche?" The owner asked.

"My cop car is in the shop.

"Oh, it's getting repaired." The owner said.

"Actually no. It crashed into the shop across the road after a meth addict stole it." Rouge said. "If you see a guy called Jeff Hardy running around flailing his arms around and jumping off ladders and buildings, let me know."

"Ok..." The owner said as he continued putting the jewellery into the car.

* * *

Back at the cars, Blaze gets on the speaker thingo. "Pull over now or we will shoot."

"PULL OVER!" Amy yelled.

"Don't worry." Makon said. "I replaced their bullets with blanks..."

At this point a shot was heard and in the next second, Storm had a bullet in his head.

"Why am I not dead?" Storm asked.

"You don't have a brain." Makon said.

"Oh." Storm said, not even noticing the illogicalness of that statement.

"Nice try." Blaze said. "We borrowed some of Shadow's guns."

"Oh crap." Makon said. "Well... this is my stop." He then jumped out the door and, ironically, rolled into a game store.

"Damn it." Amy said. "Who knows how to drive?"

"I DO!" Charmy said.

"Okay... anyone who wouldn't kill us know how to drive?" Amy said again.

"Just let me do it." Charmy said as he jumped into the front seat.

Seconds later the whole situation turned GTA. 17 Pedestrians were mowed down, 5 stores were destroyed, and a barn exploded because of Charmy's driving. And he's only been driving for 30 seconds.

"30 seconds?" Amy asked. "(BLEEP), we're screwed."

After flying out the 30th floor of an office building, Charmy realized something...

"I'M AN AWESOME DRIVER!" Charmy yelled.

A bolt of lightening then struck the car.

"What the?" Amy asked.

"**KILL THE ANNOYANCE" **A random voice said.

"Which one of us do you want to kill?" Storm asked.

"**GOOD POINT! YOU GET TO LIVE! KILL THE ANNOYANCE AND THE ANNOYANCE THAT'S A STALKER!"** The voice said.

"**Get away from that thing." **I said. **"I leave for 5 minutes to have some waffles, and this happens? I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHO GETS KILLED! Though I like your idea"**

The car continued to fall. Underneath were Blaze and Tails with a net. Just a net. Not even a big one, one of those crappy butterfly nets.

"Are you sure this will work?" Tails asked.

"Sure of it." Blaze said. "It works in the cartoons."

The car gets closer. Suddenly, Jeff Hardy pops out of nowhere and starts doing his "Meth Dance". And sure enough, he gets crushed by the falling car. Somehow, everyone inside was alive.

"What did we hit?" Amy asked.

Blaze broke the door off. "A meth addict who was flailing his arms around."

"That's all? Ok." Amy said.

"ARE WE GONNA GET ARRE..." Charmy said, before getting shot in the gut by Tails.

"No." Blaze said.

"Why not?" Amy said.

"You killed the biggest meth addict in the world. Now the rest of us can have some meth at long last." Tails said.

But at that point, Hardy crawled out and started dancing again, then he ran away.

"God damn it." Tails said quietly.

* * *

Back at Makon's place...

"I should disqualify all of you for destroying stuff, breaking my leg, and not killing Jeff Hardy... But I won't because you killed Charmy so yeah." Makon said.

"Ok." The others involved said.

"Where's Sonic?" Amy asked.

"Mexico." Makon said.

"Really, where is he?" Amy asked.

In Mexico, Sonic is eating more chili dogs.

"Alright, fine. I believe you." Amy said, interupting that event.

"Just go home." Makon said.

Everyone left.

"Finally, I get some peace." Makon said, before getting interupted.

"HI MAKON!" Charmy, who was alive again, said.

"Oh fu..." Makon said, before the tape ran out and the chapter ended.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay folks, ballancing another fic for another site, and two halloween episodes for both that fic and this one. BTW, Halloween episode next chapter.**


	6. The worst late Halloween special ever

**Hope the peepulation had a happy Halloween. I know I didn't.**

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, or any of those other guys. Another thing I don't have is a good memory. Not, you WILL be in this chapter.**

* * *

We start off at Makon's house, where we see Makon dressed like a Japanese school girl.

"Japan really has great fashion sence." He said.

At this moment the others walk in.

"What the hell?" Sonic said.

"Mr Makon, isn't it to late to wear a costume?" Cream asked.

"Well um..." Makon said. He then rips the top and skirt off, revieling a suit, and pulled out that mind blanking thing from Men in Black. He uses it on the others.

"What just happened?" Tails asked.

"How did we get here?" Amy asked.

"No questions." Makon said. "It's time to see if we roll snake eyes."

"We only use one die." Shadow said.

"Shut up." Makon said.

The die fell from the sky (Hey, that rhymes). It started to roll.

"Someone said you're feeling green tonight. Step up. Do you really wanna cross the line? Right now. Go ahead and try to take what's mine. Let it roll, let it roll, I'm unstoppable. Let it roll, let it roll." Makon sang. (The song is called "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day)

It finally stops.

"And it is on... 6 again? Nice." Makon said. "Now to spin the wheels to decide the people."

He spun the wheels.

"Let's see. Charmy and Blaze." Makon said. "Amy and Knuckles. And finally, Wave and... Sonic. Bout time."

"WHAT?" Sonic yelled.

"Oh quit being a baby." Rouge said.

"Yeah, listen to the bat with a sweet rack." Makon said. "Now time to see what the pain is this time... And it land on... It's Halloween (BLEEP)ers. Weird."

"Let's go trick or treating." Sonic said.

"Ok." Wave said. She then gets out her mobile.

"What are you doing?" Makon asked.

"Tweeting." Wave said. "He said go tick or tweeting."

"Oh." Makon said. He then shot Wave's mobile.

"HEY!" Wave said.

"There's the trick, now get your candy ass out that door... to get candy." Makon said.

Everyone left.

"Oh there will be tricks... deadly tricks." Makon said in one of the worst one liners ever. "Oh shut up."

"**Well it is."** I said.

* * *

Meanwhile, in random suburban area that will never be mentioned again, we see a man dancing to "Old Man River" while wearing a dress. Nobody ever mentions this. We then see Sonic, Knuckles, Charmy, Amy, Wave, and Blaze going trick or treating. To save time, and because I'm that damn lazy, I won't say what their costumes are. However, they are very likely to get a lawsuit from Nintendo.

"What did veryone get?" Sonic asked.

"I got money." Kuckles said.

"I got eternal youth." Wave said.

"I got Sonic." Amy said, clutching onto Sonic.

"I got an ice sculpture." Blaze said.

"I got dental floss." Charmy said.

"I got a rock." Charlie Brown said.

"**Wrong fic Charlie. Oh, and I love your work." **I said.

"And I got a gun." Sonic said. "STAY AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL SHOOT!"

Amy instantly moved away.

"So... now what?" Amy asked.

"How about we go to that house with the sign that says "Plot device for this chapter... I mean, more candy for anthropomorphic animals."?" Knuckles asked.

"... Yeah, ok." Everyone else said.

The went to the house. Like all scenes like this, the door opens by itself.

"Um..." Knuckles said. "TRICK OR TREET, SMELL MY FEET, GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT!"

"There's nobody there you moron." Blaze said. "Besides, don't you remember the last guy?"

"Oh yeah. That guy had a seriously disterbing foot fetish." Knuckles said.

"Let's just forget that." Sonic said.

They all walked in. The door shut on it's own.

"Well that was creepy." Charmy said.

Just then the lights went out. When they came back on everyone was gone.

* * *

We are now in a dirty bathroom, filled with blood, crap, and a tap dancing lion.

"Where are we?" Charmy asked. "And why are we wearing spiky wristbands?"

"Who cares about that? LOOK! A TAP DANCING LION!" Knuckles yelled.

"You're an idiot." Blaze said.

A TV then turned on. A toy puppet appeared on TV.

"Hello three Sonic characters. Let's play a game." The puppet said.

"I LOVE THIS SHOW!" Knuckles yelled.

"This isn't a TV show you moron." The puppet said. "Anyway..."

"But you're on TV, that means it's a TV show." Knuckles said.

"If this is a TV show, then how come this can happen..." The puppet said before pushing a button.

At that moment the spikes on Charmy's writeband went in, penetrating Charmy's wrist. Blood squirted everyhere...

"**Keep this T."** I said.

"Fine" The puppet said. At this point Charmy was dead. "Now that you know that this isn't a TV show, those are spiked wristbands. In one minute they will go in, puncturing your skin and veins. You have to find a key that will unlock both wristbands to escape..." The puppet watched as Knuckles beat Blaze to a pulp.

"THE KEY'S MINE! I WILL BE THE ONE WHO LIVES!" Knuckles yelled.

"Um..." The puppet said. He then pressed a button, and both wristbands fell on the ground.

"I SAVED US! ALL ME! ISN'T THAT RIGHT BLAZE?" Knuckles yelled.

Blaze only twitched.

"EXACTLY!" Knuckles yelled.

In another room we see Sonic, Amy, and Wave tied up in chains. The puppet appeard on TV.

"Oh great, a SAW reference?" Amy said.

"This is basically the whole idea of the chapter." The puppet said.

"Whatever." Wave said.

"So anyway, you are all trapped to a chair. The room will fill with gas that will turn you inside-out in one minute." The puppet said.

"So now you're ripping off The Simpsons?" Sonic asked.

"I loved that episode. I think it's on tonight." Wave said.

"Nah, I think it's a different episode." Amy said.

"SHUT UP!" The puppet yelled. "Quit talking for one second so I can tell you how to escape."

"Why do you want everyone to survive?" Sonic asked

"To teach them some kind of crap. I don't know, I've never watched SAW before." The puppet said.

"That's stupid." Wave said.

"THAT'S IT!" The puppet yelled. It then ran out with a gun and shot Wave. The puppet then removed his head, revealing Not (This is the best cameo I could think of). "Get another person to do this."

"**Oh come on." **I said.

"I'm going." Not said before walking out. The next thing heard was a car driving away.

"Did he turn the gas off?" Amy asked.

"OH FU..." Sonic yelled before he, and Amy, turned inside-out.

* * *

Back at Makon's place, Sonic and Amy had been turned back to normal, and Charmy and Wave were revived.

"Well that was..." Sonic said.

"I know." Makon said. "Just go, I'll have something better for the next chapter."

And with that everyone left.

"God damn Halloween specials are hard." Makon said.

"Cameos are even harder." Not said.

End of chapter. Yeah, that's literally the best I can do. Bring on the reviews on how horrible this chapter was.

* * *

**I appologise for the lateness of the chapter, and the horrid quality. Expect something much better next chapter.**


	7. Humor mixed with controversy

**This is going to be better than last chapter. Trust me. **

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, golf clubs, Nazis, or a delorean time machine. You get where this is going. I apologise to any Jewish people for some things in this chapter. This is purely for entertainment purposes.**

* * *

We start off at a golf course where, for the first time ever, the "I do not own" things are actually being used. Amazing. Anyway, Makon is playing golf with Silver and Tails.

"FORE!" Makon yelled as he hit the ball. The next thing heard was the sound of glass breaking. "Oh..." Makon then picked up the clubs and ran away.

At another hole about an hour and one lawsuit later, Silver was reading a book called "Golf for dummies".

"Are you going to just read or are you going to play?" Makon asked.

"Hang on, I need to learn." Silver said.

"Well there are lessons for kids happening right now. But it's for girls... but I think you could get away with it." Makon said.

"Shut up." Silver said.

At this time Tails was toying with his clubs.

"No cheating Tails." Makon said.

"Damn it." Tails said, dropping the club that now had a rocket launcher, a medieval flail, and a lazer cat attached to it. A tree caught on fire.

"Now watch this swing... FOR..." Makon said before noticing his watch. "OH CRAP!" Makon let go of the club, and the sound of another window breaking was heard. "WE HAVE TO GO!"

"How do we get back? We don't have a car now." Tails said while looking at Silver.

"For the last time, I didn't see that Cyrus on the road." Silver said.

"You just had to hit the one with the mullet and the one hit song that is really annoying." Makon said.

"Like his daughter's songs?" Silver asked.

"Yes." Makon said. "We'll take the cole train."

"The cole train?" Tails and Silver asked at the same time.

"Yes." Makon said.

A train appeared. It's whistle went off. "VINTAGE!"

"Only wrestling fans will get that reference." Makon said. Everyone gets into the train.

* * *

We are now at Makon's home. Makon runs inside.

"ROLL THE DIE!" Makon yelled.

"You do that." Amy said.

"Oh yeah." Makon said. He rolled the die. It landed on 3.

"God damn, another challenge to decide which gender get's tortured more?" Sonic asked.

"Actually no. I'll spin both wheels at the same time and decide who goes." Makon said. "Now the first two will be..." Makon spun the wheels. "Silver and Cream."

"I pray to god that I don't get attacked by kids who think I'm a girl, again." Silver said.

"I pray to god that Amy doesn't follow you and make that happen." Makon said before spinning both wheels. "And the first thing landed on is... Espio."

"Oh crap." Espio said.

"Now then, what will you guys be doing?" Makon said as he span the third wheel.

"Please be something that won't harm me." Silver said.

"Please be something easy." Espio said.

"Please be something that won't give me tats and make me addicted to cigarettes." Cream said as she smoked.

"A day in the life of a 1940's Jew... we are so (BLEEP)ing sued." Makon said.

"Not very PG." Sonic said.

"Yeah, that's kind of a touchy subject." Tails said.

"I think some, if not all, readers will take offence to this." Blaze said.

"What am I supposed to do, just give up a great idea and have a repeat of last chapter?" Makon said.

"YES!" Everyone yelled.

"After last chapter, I'll make a chapter about anything." Makon said. "Besides, I'm not going to insult the religion. They have their own beliefes and what not, and I have no beliefs. It all works out... as long as nobody's offended."

"So what do we do?" Silver asked.

"What else would we do? We have to go back to the future!" Makon said as the Delorean appeared out of nowhere.

"Wouldn't we technically be going back to the past?" Cream asked.

"Shut up." Makon said. "Now get in so I can cause controversy."

The three got in and left. Yeah.

* * *

The 1940's, a time of change, power, and Hitler totally pwning his enemys and getting pissed off at several things including video games and the Nostalgia Critic having his account on youtube deleted. Our... "heroes"... arrive in this time and do nothing for a few minutes.

"So... what do we do?" Silver asked.

"Be Jews." Makon said.

"Stereotypical Jews or actual Jews?" Cream asked.

"Actual Jews. I hate stereotypes. Just look at my hate for Marine." Makon said.

"Oh yeah, she's a stereotype of an Australian." Espio said.

"And a horrible one. Not all Aussies say g'day, mate, or the phrase "throw shrimp on the barbie." Trust me, I know better than any of you." Makon said.

"That reminds me." Silver said. "You don't sound Australian. You sound more American than you do Aussie."

"American TV shows really do a number on minds at young ages. Trust me on that." Makon said.

"So how do we be Jews? I'm not Jewish." Silver said.

"Neither am I." Cream said.

"Nor I." Espio said.

"It's ok. I have you gus covered..." Makon said as he pulled a sword out of the Delorean.

"Oh crap." Silver said. "You better not do what you're thinking of doing."

Three seconds later the sound of two guys screaming in pain was heard. Then, a problem arose.

"How do I make Cream Jewish?" Makon said.

"HA!" Cream said.

"Oh well, that's what I have my real self for." Makon said.

"**For the last time I'm not buying you porn."** I said.

"What? No, just make Cream male so I can make her Jewish." Makon said.

"**... I'm not touching that with a 40ft pole."** I said.

"Well... I guess you have to act Jewish." Makon said.

"WE COULD ACT JEWISH?" Silver said "THEN WHY DID YOU NEED TO NEARLY MAKE ME AND ESPIO GIRLS?"

"Because when does one ever get to go back to WWII and make a silver hedgehog and a purple chameleon Jewish with a sword?" Makon asked.

"I did that just last week." Espio said.

"I don't care what you do in your personal time, but you're on my time here." Makon said.

"No, you're on our time." Hitler said as he drove up.

"No, you're all on our time." Whoever the British prime minister was back then said.

"No, you're on our time." A random flying frog said.

"No, you're on my time. And it's time for America to change." Barack Obama said.

"No, you're on my time." Batman said. "I'm Batman."

"Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. You're on my time." The Nostalgia Critic said.

"(BLEEP) you critic, you're all on my time." The Angry Video Game Nerd said.

"NERD!" NC said as he attacked the Nerd.

"All your time is belonging to us." A cat said.

"No, you're all under my time." Chuck Norris said as a chior sang his name.

"Can we just agree that we are under our own personal time?" Makon asked.

"Yes we can." Barack said.

"So, are you allies, or enemies of Hitler?" Hitler asked.

"Which Hitler? You, Techno Hitler, Lord Kelvin?" Makon asked.

"SILENCE! Are you a Jew?" Hitler asked.

"No. I have no religion." Makon asked.

"Have you considered the ways of Jehovah then?" Hitler asked.

"You're a Jehovah's witness?" Makon asked.

"Yes." Hitler said.

"How about the ways of Jenova?" Makon asked.

"SILENCE!" Hitler said. "Are they Jews."

"You wanna have a look?" Makon asked.

"No. GEORGE!" Hitler yelled.

"Why yes sir?" George said.

"Check if they are Jewish." Hitler said.

"WEEE!" George said.

"I though you hated homosexuals." Makon said.

"There's a lot of lies history books and Wikipedia say." Hitler said. "Did you find anything George?"

"Why yes sir. Those two are indeed Jewish. The... other one isn't. At least I don't think so." George said.

"Hey." Cream said.

"I was actually pleasantly surprised at the silver one." George said.

"Hey." Silver said.

"Let's assume that they are all Jews. TAKE THEM TO THE CAMPS!" Hitler yelled.

"I love camps." Cream said. "Will we be taking nature walks?"

"No, we will be taking horrible beatings. And by we, I mean you." Hitler said.

* * *

Meanwhile in another room.

"And now it's time for the hotmail. Let's see what our readers have on their minds." Makon said. He opened a mail box and millions of letters poured out. "Holy crap. Let's see here, hate mail... hate mail... oh, a letter from mom. Let's read."

"YOU SHOULD BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT YOU SAID! NEVER INSULT THE JEWS OR MAKE JOKES ABOUT THE CAMPS!" The letter read.

"Um... That's all for this week..." Makon said, looking out the window and seeing an angry mob waiting. "Um... GET THE CHOPPER RUNNING BILL!" And Makon ran out as the mob followed him.

* * *

At one of the camps (Yes, I'm actually going ahead with this chapter). Silver, Espio, and Cream are in a cell.

"Well... we're dead." Silver said.

"No we aren't." Cream said.

"I was nearly killed by kids a few weeks ago, how the hell could I survive this?" Silver asked.

"Luck?" Makon said from the other side of the cell.

"How did you get into the camp?" Espio asked.

"I got a job here." Makon said.

At this point a guard was screaming and being pushed into a gas chamber.

"Was he a Jew?" Makon asked.

"No. He just watched Batman and Robin." A guard said.

"Oh." Makon said.

"So we're going to die." Cream said. "I always thought I would die while chained to a wall in a skimpy dress while getting whipped by Eggman."

"Um... So we're going to die, eh?" Espio said, changing the very disterbing subject.

"No, we won't." Silver said. "All we need to do is escape and fight Hitler."

"How do we do that?" Espio asked.

Silver removed a stone, revieling a book called "Escaping from a 1940's concentration camp and fighting Hitler for dummies".

"Wait, didn't Jack do something like this in his..." Espio said.

"Nope, nope, not at all, this is totally original." Makon said quickly, looking both ways.

"Right..." Espio said.

* * *

A few hours later, an alarm went off.

"Why is the alarm going off?" Makon asked.

"And why do we have alarms in the 1940's?" An actual guard asked.

"You apparently have the Internet, Barack Obama, Wikipedia, and Batman and Robin, and you ask why you guys have alarms in this time?" Makon asked.

"It confuses us as much as it does you." The guard said.

At this point, the guard is stabbed in the back by Cream.

"CREAM? YOU KILLED HIM!" Makon said.

"So? Now you die." Cream said, pulling the knife out of the guard's back.

"NO! He's on our side." Silver said.

"HE'S TORTURED US FOR MONTHS! AND YOU DON'T WANT REVENGE?" Cream yelled.

"She's right. Kill the bastard." Espio said.

"No, we need him to get back to our time." Silver said.

"HEY! GET HERE!" A guard yelled, grabbing Silver by his hair.

"Gotta go." Silver said, running away with the others and having a small clump of his hair fall off.

"DAMN IT!" The guard yelled, throwing the hair into a fire. Suddenly, the smoke grew and he smelled it. "Woah, dude. This stuff is awesome."

"What are you doing?" Another guard asked.

"Dude, smell this." The first guard said.

"What is it?" The guard asked. He smelt it. "Dude, this is awesome."

" I know man." The first guard said. "We should grow some of this stuff."

"So that's how hippies were born, huh?" Makon asked.

"Apparently, Silver's hair is smokeable." Espio said.

Cream started reaching over to Silver with a lighter.

"Don't even think about it." Silver said.

They ran out the door, but in their path was Hitler.

"Going somewhere?" Hitler asked.

"We were just going out to get some... er... milk." Silver said.

"And I'm taking them." Makon said.

"Oh, ok then. Have a safe trip..." Hitler said. "Oh wait a minute. What type of milk?"

"Hitler's choice?" Espio asked.

"Wrong answer, although Hitler's Choice is a really good milk, and is found in the "RID THE WORLD OF JEWS!" section of your local supermarket." Hitler said.

"Shameless self promotion?" Makon asked.

"How the hell should I know? I'm not even the real Hitler." Hitler said.

"You might not be the real Hitler, but you sure are a real douche-bag." Makon said.

"HAHAHAHA, boom boom." Basil Brush said.

"You will all not escape... except the talking fox, he already escaped." Hitler said.

"Oh yeah?" Silver asked.

"Yeah." Hitler said.

"Well we have something that can help us escape." Silver said.

"What is it?" Hitler asked.

"An awesome ninja chameleon?" Espio asked.

"Horrible writing?" Cream asked.

"Me killing a rabbit?" Makon said, pulling out a gun at the same time.

"No, no, and do that on your own time." Silver said.

"No, you're on..." A snail said.

"You're to late for that joke." Makon said.

"God damn it. I came all the way out here for nothing." The snail said, before slowly leaving.

"No, we have something better than all of that." Silver said. "We have an incredibly tired writer making this at midnight."

"**Oh shut up. I can make you do any..." **I said before going to sleep.

"See." Silver said. "Now time for a totally unnecessary fight scene."

And with that, they thought. In the end of an epic battle, involving guns, trains, a monkey, and three tap-dancing snakes, Silver, Cream, and Espio had won.

"Lazy!" Silver yelled.

"**I'm not lazy, I'm tired." **I said.

"Whatever." Silver said.

"Well, let's go back. We changed history enough." Makon said.

* * *

In present time.

"Hey everyone." Makon said.

"Oh, hey dude." Sonic said, smoking something wraped in paper with everyone else.

"Are you guys smoking weed?" Makon asked.

"What? No." Shadow said. "Weed is for wimps."

"We're smoking silver grass." Blaze said.

"Silver grass?" Makon asked.

Silver walked in with 50 people following him with scissors, lighters, and paper.

"Why are they..." Silver said.

"SILVER GRASS!" Everyone except Makon and Silver yelled. They all way at Silver and started yanking his hair off.

"HEY!" Makon said. Everyone stopped. "... save some for me." And with that, Makon started ripping Silver's hair off. And nobody could have been happier. Literally, they are at the pinnacle of highness, it doesn't get any higher than that.

* * *

**So the moral of the story is never make jokes about WWII... unless it ends with Silver losing his hair.**


	8. Secret agent fox

**Moving on from the controversy of last chapter, this chapter is clean, wholesome, teenager-adult fun.**

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, "Silver grass" (It's actually a type of grass, unfortunately), and anything else I can think of that I don't own.**

* * *

Makon Crayley's basement: Some time in November.

"Dude, this is the funniest thing ever." Knuckles said while watching stuff on a laptop. Everyone was in a smokey circle.

Sonic looked at the screen. "Um, Knuckles. You're watching the clip from Bambi of her mom dying."

"Yeah, it's funny as hell." Knuckles said.

"You are a disturbed... echidna." Rouge said.

"Kelso... I mean Knuckles, stop watching animated animals die and watch real ones kill fat kids." Shadow said.

"I love candy." Charmy said.

"We know." Tails said. "Wait, who am I supposed to be?"

"Leo?" Sonic asked.

"Alright dude. Did anyone see that flying saucer the other night? It was flashing and everything. And there were more of them." Tails said.

"Tails, you were at an airport." Shadow said.

"Oh yeah, I was." Tails said.

"Hey guys, any of the stash left?" Amy, who now had ginger hair, asked.

"Oh crap, she's Donna?" Sonic said.

"Who said you were Forman?" Shadow asked. "Silver's Forman."

"Why am I Eric?" Silver asked.

"Yes, why is HE Eric?" Amy asked.

"Well, he's physically weak, can't throw a ball, runs slower than an old lady, and quite frankly he looks like a girl." Shadow said.

"BURN!" Knuckles yelled, throwing the laptop in the air.

"Knuckles, you broke my laptop." Silver said.

"Hold on... who am I?" Sonic asked.

"Nobody, go away." Shadow said. And with that, Sonic left depressed.

"You know what would be fun?" Knuckles asked.

"No, what?" Shadow asked.

"Riding a surfboard down a hill." Knuckles said.

"Knuckles, that's incredibly stupid." Shadow said. "Go for it."

"Shadow, don't make him do it." Blaze said. "Make him ride a body board down a hill."

"Are you supposed to be Jackie?" Shadow asked.

"Yeah." Blaze said.

"Ok." Shadow said before making out with Blaze.

"Would you dumbasses shut up?" Makon, who was apparently Red, said. "I'm trying to play the PS3."

"Shouldn't we be doing the wheel thing?" Silver asked.

"Oh yeah. Get up here before I put my foot up your asses." Makon said.

Everyone went up-stairs.

"I rolled the die earlier, it landed on 1." Makon said. "Let's see who will do it."

In an act of lazyness, the wheel landed on Tails.

"Ok, now for the actual challenge." Makon said, spinning the third wheel.

"It beter not involve World War II." Tails said.

"And it lands on... Chuck it out." Makon said.

"Thank god, something easy. What do I chuck out?" Tails asked.

"I think it's refering to the show "Chuck" Tails." Blaze said.

"Damn it." Tails said.

"Well, let's start." Makon said, pushing Tails out the door.

* * *

We are in a random room, Tails is strapped to a chair.

"How did I get here?" Tails asked.

"You walked here and tied yourself to the chair so you could say that." Makon, who was now wearing a suit, said.

"Oh yeah. I've always wanted to do that." Tails said. "Say, why are you wearing a suit?"

"I'll be the Casey for this chapter." Makon said.

"Who'll be the Sarah?" Tails asked.

At this moment an incredibly hot, incredibly blonde woman walked into the room.

"Woah." Tails said. "Who is she?"

"I think her name is Mary, or Melissa, or..." Makon said.

"Melody." The woman said.

"I was about to say that." Makon said.

"So how do you feel about being a secret agent?" Melody asked.

"I'd say I'm a horny secret agent. Let's have sex." Tails said.

"Maybe later." Melody said.

"That always means no." Tails sadly said.

"Now that Lenny's depressed, let's install the intersect." Makon said.

"Wait, what?" Tails said.

Makon and Melody threw glasses on and then pictures started flashing by. After 7 hours the pictures stopped.

"How are you Mrs Smith?" Makon said.

"I thought I was Chuck." Tails said.

"Well we now know that his memory is still intact, unfortunately." Makon said, throwing a small dress back into a suitcase.

Tails looked around, then he looked at a pen and flashed.

"You flashed, what did you see?" Melody asked.

"I saw... two girls. They had a cup. They then started to urinate in it and then drank it, then vomited into eachother's mouths." Tails said.

"You saw that from a pen?" Makon asked.

"No, I'm just remembering that video I watched the other day. I saw nothing but writing with that pen." Tails said.

"Okay then... Let's continue." Makon said. Makon then looks at his watch. "Oh, Tiger's on."

"What?" Tails asked.

Makon turned the TV on. The thing on was Tiger Woods playing golf. At this moment Tails Flashed again.

"Tails, don't flash when Tiger's on." Makon said.

"Um, Tiger is actually part of a top secret terrorist group planing to assassinate the president from within the White House." Tails said.

"What?" Makon asked.

"He's right." Melody said. "I just searched that up on this random computer, it's true."

"You can get into the FBI database?" Makon asked.

"No, I just looked at Tiger's wikipedia page." Melody said. "It says right here, "Tiger Woods is also part of a top secret terrorist group that plans on assassinating Barack Obama from within the White House.""

"And when has Wikipedia ever been wrong?" Tails asked.

"Good point." Makon said. Well just to be safe, check Tiger's Twitter and MySpace pages, and maybe FaceBook."

"Um... yep, it's here as well." Melody said.

"Perfect." Makon said. "Let's go get us a tiger."

* * *

A few hours later at a pet shop...

"Hm... I like this one, but the other one give me a good vibration." Makon said.

"Sir, please stop eating our animal food." The owner said.

"I believe the sign says "all you can eat.", so I eat."

"What sign?"

"The sign I just made up so I can distract you..." Makon ran outside with an arm full of food.

* * *

One day and a stay in a jail cell later...

"So let's spin the wheel to see what we do today." Makon said.

"Um, Makon." Tails said.

"What?" Makon asked.

"We haven't finished yesterday's thing."

"Oh crap, I forgot." Makon ran outside again and drove off without Tails.

"... is he coming back?" Tails asked.

"He better be." Melody said. "My hostage is in that car."

Tails slowly backed away from Melody as the car returned.

* * *

Now, finally back on track, at a random golf course.

"And now Tiger is up." An announcer said. "And he hits it perfectly."

"That shot was GRRRRRREAT!" Tony the Tiger, who was the one hitting, said.

"And now up is Tiger Woods." The announcer said.

"I'm going straight to the White House after this shot." Tiger said.

"YAY!" Everyone in the audience yelled.

"HOLD IT!" Makon yelled as he jumped out of a Taxi.

"Um, sir..." The driver said.

"Oh, sorry." Makon said before pulling out his wallet.

"Well we're here on time." Tails said sarcastically.

"We would have got here sooner if you didn't want to get a happy meal on the way over."

"I WAS HUNGRY!"

"Oh go play with your toy."

"MAYBE I WILL!" And Tails went off and played with a crappy Barbie toy you get with those meals.

"I still can't believe they thought he was a girl." Melody said.

"I still can't believe you put him in a dress to make them think he was a girl." Makon said.

"It was your idea."

"Oh yeah. Good times. Anyway, HOLD IT!"

"We've been holding it for 5 minutes now." A random guy said.

"Tiger Woods, you're under arrest from the FBI for attempted assassination of the president, and for it not being a racial thing." Makon yelled before getting pelted by boos and garbage. "What?"

"Well..." Tiger said before shooting a missile from his club.

"I was wondering where that went." Tails said before pulling Makon out of the way.

* * *

Elsewhere, a random man was walking back to his car after a hard days work.

"Man I'm pissed off about this day. I might just go home and beat my wife for a few hours." The man said.

Just then, the missile hit the car, blowing it up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The man yelled.

A man in a suit then walked up to him.

"Mr... Wifebeater?" The suited man asked.

"Yes." The man said.

"Great, your wife is filing for divorce." The suited man said, serving the man with papers.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The man yelled.

At this moment, his boss appeard at the window.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR YELLING! YOU'RE FIRED!" The boss yelled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The man yelled.

Then, a conveniently placed radio turned on.

"In breaking news, SpongeBob SquarePants has been canceled." The radio said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The man yelled.

At this point... Makon shot the man.

"Can we get back to the story?" Makon asked.

"**Fine."** I said.

"So Tiger, are you going to go easily?" Makon asked.

"I just shot a missile at you, what do you think?" Tiger said.

"... is that a yes?" Makon asked.

"How smart does he say he is?" Tiger asked.

"Fairly smart." Tails said.

"And how smart is he really?" Tiger asked.

"He's been known to be a little Knucklesish sometimes." Tails said.

"Just ask the talking kangaroo from his other fic." Melody said.

"Ok..." Tiger said before running away.

"GET HI... Hey, wait a second." Makon said.

"MAKON!" Tails and Melody yelled.

"Oh right." Makon said, chasing after Tiger.

After a lengthy chase scene, Tiger finally stopped at the White House.

"YOU'VE GONE FAR ENOUGH!" Makon yelled, looking back to see that they were only across the road from the golf course. "Um... NOT FAR ENOUGH!"

"You'll never get me!" Tiger said before randomly flying off, despite not having a jet pack on.

"Huh, random." Melody said.

"He got away." Makon said.

"I'll get you next time, Tiger." Claw said. His cat then growled.

"So did I actually do anything?" Tails asked.

"Um... no. This is what happens when I procrostinate a lot." Makon said.

* * *

Back at Makon's place...

"So now we need to cause twice as much pain to someone." Makon said. "So the next person chosen will be in trouble."

"Thanks a lot Tails." Everyone said.

"It wasn't my fault." Tails said.

"Yeah, it was Snitsky's fault." Makon said.

"Whatever, can we go now?" Sonic asked.

"Oh, uh... sure." Makon said.

Everyone left.

"I need better was to end chapters." Makon said, and the chapter ended.

* * *

**So the moral of the story is... try not to procrostinate, cause then you mess up the story... mildly.**


	9. A Christmas Parody

**This is going to be heavy. What does that even mean anyway?**

**I do not own Sonic, Sega, a can of beer, or this site (If I owned that then my ToD fic wouldn't have been deleted).**

* * *

It's summer, and it's hotter than... well, than something that's really, really hot.

"Holy crap it's hot." Sonic said. "What's the temperature?"

"According to this thing I made out of my sweat, 100°C." Tails said. (Please not that all temperature in this fic is done in Celcius)

"Damn..." Sonic said.

"I don't know what you guys are complaining about, the temp is perfect." Makon said.

"You're Australian, of course you're used to this type of heat." Sonic said.

"Oh grow up and drink your beer." Makon said.

Sonic started to mumble something about beer before drinking. He looks at Tails, who's currently on his 7th beer. "TAILS! YOU'RE ONLY 8!"

"So?" Tails asked.

"I discovered that he can take a hell of a lot of alcohol and still be sober." Makon said.

"Huh..." Sonic said. He looks at Cream, who is vomiting in a bush. "She drank beer?"

"Actually, she drank grapejuice." Makon said.

"WHA'DD I DO OFFICER?" Cream yelled drunkenly when Rouge dragged her off.

"Right... Who wants to come for a drive?" Makon asked.

"You can't drive, you're 15." Silver said.

"Actually, I'm 16. The day I posted this chapter is my birthday, so shut up." Makon said.

"**He's right."** I said.

"Oh yeah? How do you know?" Sonic asked.

"**Because I'm the writer, and I'm the actual guy who turned 16."** I said.

"Good point." Sonic said.

"Shouldn't we be doing the wheel thing?" Tails asked as he drank another beer.

"Hm... Good point." Makon said. 'Let's do it here."

"But we don't have the wheels... or the die." Shadow said.

"It's ok... I have the "Wheel of Chaos home game", available in all toy stores." Makon said.

"Shameless self promotion? Where have I seen that before?" Sonic said, walking past a D-Generation-X poster.

"Nonetheless, let's do this..." Makon said. He rolled the die, it landed on 3.

"So 3 huh?" Tails asked.

"Indeed." Makon said. "Now for a change, I'll spin the challenge wheel second." Makon indeed spun the wheel, and it landed on...

"A Christmas parody?" Everyone asked.

"What ironic timing." Makon said. "Now we'll spin the wheel to decide the roll of Scrouge..." Makon span the wheel. "And it lands on... Shadow."

"Last time I had to do something I ended up in a dress..." Shadow said.

"And that ended with my basement smelling like vomit." Makon said. "Infact, it still smells like vomit. You and Sonic vomited a hell of a lot that night."

"Don't remind me." Both Sonic and Shadow said.

Makon span the female wheel... "Amy."

"The next one better not be Eggman." Amy said.

"Nope, it landed on Tails again." Makon said

"Great." Tails said.

"Ok, let's start." Makon said.

* * *

We then go to a city where, despite it being summer... in Australia... it's snowing.

"Why is it snowing? WE'RE IN AUSTRALIA!" Makon yelled.

"**It's to actually parody the story." **I said.

"IT'S 79°C!" Makon yelled.

Shadow walks into a building with his name on it. He throws his coat on the ground and a worker picked it up. He walked up to Amy.

"Amy, where is my money?" Shadow asked.

"Where it always is." Amy.

"Who is the hottest hedgehog in the world?" Shadow asked.

"SONIC!" Amy yelled before getting pimp slapped by Makon.

"I love my job." Makon said.

"Let me ask you again, who is the hottest hedgehog in the world?" Shadow asked.

"Sonic." Amy said.

Makon went to pimp slap her again, but Shadow stopped him.

"Let's try this in a different way. Who is the hottest black hedgehog in the world?" Shadow asked.

"Snoop Dogg hedgehog." Amy said.

"Where are all my hos at?" Snoop Dogg hedgehog asked.

"They're in the low rider." Makon said.

"Cool dawg." Snoop Dogg hedgehog said before leaving.

"Ok, who's the hottest hedgehog in this room?" Shadow asked.

"Me." Amy said before getting pimp slapped again. "STOP THAT!"

"Not until you answer correctly." Makon said. "I'm really loving this"

"Ok, who is the hottest male hedgehog in this room?" Shadow asked.

"Makon?" Amy asked, pointing to Makon who was dressed like a hedgehog now.

"Why did you dress like a hedgehog?" Shadow asked.

"So I could do this..." Makon said before pimp slapping Amy again. "This is fun."

"Take that stuff off." Shadow said. "Ok, who's the ho..."

"Get on with it." Makon said.

"Get on with it." Amy said.

"Get on with it." Tails from the next scene said.

"Get on with it." Maria said from an orphanage.

"**Get on with it." **I said while in a cemetary.

"Alright." Shadow said.

"So what's my pay today?" Amy asked.

"Well it was going to be one billion dollars... but since you didn't answer the question correctly, you get nothing." Shadow said.

"Guess what? You get a lawsuit." Willy Wonka said.

"We've been getting sued a lot recently, haven't we?" Makon asked.

"But... But I have to feed my family." Amy said.

"You mean the blue hedgehog you have hostage and the two tailed fox who you forced to act like a girl?" Shadow asked.

"You mean Sonic and Taila." Amy said.

"No, he meant Sonic and Tails." Makon said.

"No, Taila." Amy said again before getting pimp slapped again. "SERIOUSLY, STOP THAT!"

"This will never get old." Makon said.

"You will not get payed. I need money." Shadow said.

"YOU HAVE PLEANTY OF MONEY! YOU'RE RICHER THAN BILL GATES AND DONALD TRUMP COMBINED!" Amy yelled.

"You've been in the news more than Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Tiger Woods combined." Makon said.

"Yes, yes, I know... you still get no money." Shadow said.

"What about me?" Makon asked.

"Oh yeah, here's some pet food." Shadow said.

"God damn I hate you." Makon said before eating some of it.

Shadow walked to the back, passing several rooms in the process, including a room with a giant cockroach, a room with the meaning of life in it and a sign on the door that said "The meaning of life is in this room... do not enter", and a room with 7 million Asian women in it, all at sewing machines.

Shadow enters his office and sits down. A few minutes later, a turkey walks in.

"Ah, Joe. How's the family?" Shadow asked.

"YOU KNOW THEY WERE KILLED A FEW WEEKS AGO!" Joe said. "WHY DP YOU KEEP ASKING ME?"

"I'm an asshole." Shadow said. "So where's Bill today?"

"Bill? I heard he was fishing with his llama." Joe said.

"With his llama? He should be working here, with llama."

"You know him, he's always llamaing."

"Well he llama start llamaing here."

"Llama, you llama llama."

"Llama llama llama llama."

_We appologise for the inconvenience. The person who was writing that has been sacked. We now continue with the story._

* * *

It's night, and Shadow is walking home. He passes Amy's house.

"Maybe I should go in to appologise... or maybe I should go in and taunt her with money." Shadow said. "I'll go with the latter."

Shadow walked in just as Amy was trying to put a dress on Tails. He saw Sonic tied to a chair.

"I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE! WHY AM I HERE?" Sonic yelled before getting gagged.

"There, there sweety. Don't you worry about the incredibly shotty writing." Amy said. "I'VE GOT CRABS!"

Everyone looked shocked.

"**How's that for shotty writing?"** I said.

"Sorry, sorry." Amy said.

"Maybe I should come back when you aren't crazy." Shadow said.

"NOOO! THAT MEANS YOU'LL NEVER COME BACK!" Tails said. "TAKE ME WITH YOU! SHE'S ABOUT TO GIVE ME A SEX CHANGE!"

"No I wasn't..." Amy said, throwing away a book titled 'Sex change operations for dummies'.

"Fine, I'll take the fox boy." Shadow said.

"YES!" Tails said as he ran to Shadow.

"Good night. Shame I can't say that to you Sonic." Shadow said before leaving with Tails.

"Damn it. Well at least I have you Sonic..." Amy said before dragging Sonic into another room. Muffled screams are then heard.

"Did you hear that?" Tails asked 3 blocks over.

"It was either the screams of an albino screamer monkey, or the muffled screams of a blue hedgehog who's about to get raped by a fan girl." Shadow said.

"I hope it's the first one, I like those monkeys." Tails said.

"Yeah, me too." Shadow said.

"So why don't you pay Amy again?" Tails asked.

"Would you pay someone as crazy as her?" Shadow asked.

"Touche." Tails said. "Say, can I stay with you for the night?"

"Why?"

"Amy's done some pretty girly things to me."

"Like what?"

"Well one, she glued a blonde wig to my head."

"I thought there was something new about you."

"Can you two hurry up already? We have to continue." Makon yelled from a house.

"Sorry." Tails and Shadow said at the same time.

They walked off as the snow fell.

* * *

Shadow woke up the next morning. He walked downstairs to see Tails drinking.

"Oh beer, take the horrible memories away." Tails said before downing the drink.

"Wow, was that for Amy trying to turn you into a girl?" Shadow asked.

"No. I watched New Moon with my girl friend." Tails said.

"DRINK MAN, DRINK!" Shadow said. "Wait, you have a girl friend?"

"Yeah." Tails said.

"Maybe we can go on a double date." Shadow said.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE A GIRL FRIEND BUT ME?" Makon yelled as he walked pass the house.

"Ignoring that." Shadow said, then ignored Makon yelling "Hey" at him. "You beter get back to Amy."

"WHAT? NO!" Tails objected.

"You have to. I've been arrested for having kids with me before." Shadow said.

"YOU MOLEST KIDS?" Tails yelled.

"No... I use them for shooting practice." Shadow said.

"... I still think I would be safer with you." Tails said.

"It's out of my hands. Plus we need to continue the story."

"God damn it." Tails then put on a cup and locked it with chains. "Gotta be safe."

"Indeed."

"THAT'S MY LINE!" Makon yelled.

"Get to work." Shadow said.

"Ok." Makon said. "Which way's Amy's house?"

"The 17th house on the left." Shadow said.

"Thanks." Makon said before running away.

At this moment, a ghost appeard.

"AHHHH! CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS!" Tails yelled before he ran out of the house.

"What's wrong with him?" The ghost asked.

"He's drunk." Shadow said. "So anyway, who the hell are you?"

"I'm a random ghost of your apparent former business partner." The ghost said.

"Ok." Shadow said.

"You must change your greedy ways, or your heart will be heavy with chains... or some crap like that, I don't know, I didn't write the script." The ghost said.

"Shouldn't you be at Mr Burn's house then?" Shadow asked.

"I was already there. He thought I was a vampire."

"Well you are sparkling right now."

"Right. Anyway, you will be visited by 2 Sonic characters who didn't appear on that wheel this chapter."

"What? Are you seriou... wait." Shadow reads 'A Christmas Carol' quickly. "There are 3 ghosts in this book. Who's the third ghost in this parody?"

"You'll find out soon. Now then, I have to play games with two stoners who think that they travel through time in a telephone booth." The ghost left.

"That was strange..." Shadow said. "Oh well."

Shadow walked out the door and went to work.

* * *

Later that night, Shadow was sleeping with his gun.

"Oh gun, I love it when you kill Sonic." Shadow sleep-said.

Just then, a voice is heard.

"Shadow... Shadow." The voice said.

Shadow didn't budge.

"Shadow you lazy bastard, get up." The voice said, kicking Shadow.

"Damn it, what's your problem. I'm trying to sleep." Shadow said before looking at the being. "Oh my god... it can't be you. This is impossible."

"Yes Shadow, it's me..." The being said. "Maria."

Shadow then glomps Maria. "MARIA!" He yelled.

"Shadow." Maria said, pushing Shadow off at the same time. "I'm here to show you your past."

"YES! SHOW ME MY PAST!"

"Ok." Maria said before they vanished in a flash."

In the past, they were in a boarding school.

"Why are we at a boarding school?" Shadow said.

"It's Christmas at the time you were 7." Maria said.

"Oh yeah, I remember that. That was they year I got my first gun."

"Yeah... Go inside."

"Ok Maria, but what's the importance?"

"You'll see."

They walk inside. Inside, it is a bloody mess... literally.

"What happened here?" Shadow asked.

"You did." Maria said. "You got your first gun, you killed your room mate for practice. You got addicted to killing and..."

"I killed everyone?" Shadow asked.

"Yes." Maria said.

"Oh wait, now I remember... WHAT A RUSH THAT WAS!" Shadow yelled. "My heart was beating faster than it ever had before. It was the most fun I had ever had."

"... What did I ever see in you?"

"I was tiny and cute."

"Oh yeah."

"So now what?"

"Well now I leave and..."

"NOOOOOO! YOU AREN'T LEAVING ME AGAIN!"

"Well I ha..."

Shadow then pointed a gun at Maria. "I said you aren't leaving me again."

"Um..." Maria then disappeared.

"DAMN IT!"

* * *

A few minutes passed until another voice was heard.

"HEY SHADOW!" The voice said.

"Oh crap..." Shadow said. "Charmy?"

"How are ya?" Charmy asked.

"You aren't dead." Shadow said.

"Well... uh..." Charmy said.

_24 hours earlier:_

"Charmy, we need you dead for the next chapter." Makon said.

"Uh... no." Charmy, who was wearing a suit, said.

"We'll give you sugar..." Makon said before noticing Charmy already hung. "Well that was easy."

_Present time:_

"God damn it." Shadow said.

"TO THE PRESENT!" Charmy yelled.

They returned to the present, or at leats one years before the present.

"This was one year ago." Charmy said.

"I know." Shadow said. "It was the year I gave Tails to Amy... Not my best idea."

"Watch what you do." Charmy said.

The past Shadow walked into a toy store.

"Could I have every toy in the store?" Shadow asked, putting millions of dollars on the counter.

"Uh... yes sir." The worker said.

"Are you buying the toys for us?" A random kid asked.

"What? No. I'm gonna burn them all." Shadow said.

"You're an asshole." The kid said.

"Tell me something I don't know." Shadow said.

"Sir, the toys are being sent by our best deliverers..." The worker said.

_In the back:_

"We better be getting a pay rise because of this." Spock said. "Beaming back and forth between one place get's annoying."

"And... these gifts... will just be... destroyed." Kirk said. "KHAN!"

_Back out front:_

"You see?" Charmy said.

"Yeah... I should do that again." Shadow said.

"Whatever." Charmy said. "Now I was told to do this..."

"Do wha... oh no, please don't." Shadow said.

Charmy ate a giant bag of sugar.

" SHADOW! LET'SPLAY!" Charmy said while high on sugar.

"NOOOOO!" Shadow yelled before running away.

* * *

A few minutes of running later, Shadow stopped.

"**You ok?"** I asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Shadow said. "Just a little tired from nearly getting killed."

"**Right... So do you wanna see your future?"** I asked.

"Well yeah." Shadow said. "Where's that ghost then?"

"**Ha, you think the third one is a ghost?"** I asked.

"Yeah..." Shadow said. "That's what was in the book."

"**Shadow, what's the next best thing to a ghost?"** I asked.

"... a zombie?"

"**No... a writer." **I said.

"And where do we find a writer to do th... oh, you don't mean..."

"**Yep, I'm gonna show you your future."**

"This won't end well..."

"**You bet your ass it won't."** I said.

They flashed to the future, shadow looked confused.

"How far are we in the future?" Shadow asked.

"**One Year." I said.**

"Ok. Where are we?" Shadow asked.

"**A cemetary." I said.**

"Why?"

"**Look at that grave."**

"I don't see any releve.... WHAT THE (BLEEP)?" Shadow yelled, noticing that the grave was of Tails. "The fox boy died?"

"**Yes. Look at some others."**

"Amy, Sonic, "The Nine-Millionth Sonic Truth or Dare fic", Silver... They're all dead, how?"

"**You..."**

"M... Me, why?"

"**Same way... you died." **I pointed to a grave with Shadow's name on it.

"H... how?"

"**Well, these graves are empty actually."**

"What?"

"**Shadow, you don't understand. No matter what, you won't die. That's because you will be eternaly tourmented by guys like Makon. The people who love the pain of you guys."**

"Can I see a different future?"

"**Sure..."**

A minute later, we were now in a bedroom.

"A bedroom?"

"**Look inside."**

Shadow looked in.

"OH MY GOD! THEY'RE RAPING ME!"

"**Fan girls. Yo****ur future is screwed no matter what you do."  
**

"... so Makon and those other guys will rape me too?"**  
**

"**No just the fan girls."**

"This is horrible… wait. Maybe if I change my ways, I'll be spared."

"**Didn't you hear what I said before. You're screwed no matter what you do."**

"Yes, I will change my ways."

"**Whatever, time to fall into hell."**

Before Shadow could react, he was kicked into his grave, which is somehow there despite them being outside a bedroom, where he fell into hell. There, he saw the devil himself…

"Hi, it's Vince with ShamWow." The ShamWow guy said.

"NOOOOO!" Shadow yelled.

Suddenly, he woke up.

"It was all a dream?" Shadow asked himself. "… I know what I must do."

Shadow got up and walked to a mirror.

"… I MUST ACT LIKE AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE FROM NOW ON!" He yelled.

* * *

We then see a short montage of him doing horrible things. These things included smashing snowglobes, stealing from an old lady, rolling a guy in a wheel chair down an up escalator, covering a mailman in meat and throwing him into a dog pound, and laughing at James May's haircut.

We then go to Amy's house.

"Oh Sonic, we'll be together forever." Amy, who was now a wreck, said to a still tied up Sonic. "Ready for the surgery Taila?"

"Mph." A tied up Tails, who was now wearing a dress and makeup, muffled.

"Wonderful." Amy said, twitching her yey at the same time.

Just then, the door breaks open. Several men in army uniform enter the room.

"Amy Rose?" The leader asked.

"Yes." Amy said.

"I'm with the prison for the really (BLEEP)ing crazy people. You're under arrest for being a fan girl, attempted sex change of a male fox, and the rape and transmission of an STD to a blue male hedgehog." The leader said.

"She gave me a what?" Sonic asked just as one of the other men took the gag out of his mouth.

"Nothing." The leader said. "You can come with us quietly or we can tranqulize the crap out of you."

"I'll go quietly." Amy said before passing out on the floor, with a dart in her neck.

"What the hell?" The leader said.

"Sorry, I was expecting her not to co-operate." One of the other guys said.

"God damn, now I have to carry her. My chiropractor told me not to lift anymore fan girls." The leader said before picking Amy up.

Shadow walked in. "What did I miss?"

"Did you do this?" Tails asked.

"Do what?" Shadow asked, noticing Sonic getting untied and Amy being dragged away. "God damn it." Shadow threw a bag to the ground, with a shot gun and several bullets with the words "Sonic's crotch" literally engraved into it.

"What were you going to do to me?" Tails asked.

"Nothing." Shadow said.

"Why?"

"I need a drinking buddy."

"Oh."

Makon is outside the house.

"What a great ending to this chapte…" He said before getting cut off by the sound of a shotgun and the screams of a blue male hedgehog who just had his balls shot off. "… Still better than the WWII one."

* * *

Shadow later gained stardom because of Sonic's lack of balls. His future of getting rapped by fan girls came to fruition.

Tails later got attached to dressing like a girl and became a crossdresser and a profesional drinker. His girlfriend left him.

Amy was commited to the world greatest, most unescapeable mental institution for life… she escaped three hours later. She is currently searching for Sonic.

Sonic got a sex change after having his balls shot off. He now goes under the name Sonica the Hedgehog and is a profesional model in Paris.

Amy found and kidnaped Sonica after reading this.

Makon took over the Playboy Mansion after Hugh Hefner's death. He has been named the world hottest batchelor 5 years in a row.

I was sued by the creators of the movie "Animal House" for ripping of the ending. I won the case so I can still do this. Morons.

* * *

**Have a merry Christmas, or as I call it "Yearly Present Day". See you peeps in 2010.**


End file.
